Margaret, a lonely career woman, eagerly awaits the arrival of Colin, a man she met online. But just hours before he is due, a call from a friend leads her to a nearby cemetery. There, she is horrified to see a photo of Colin on another man’s grave. Is Colin really who he claims to be?
The sun streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow over the pristine furniture as Margaret cleaned the house.
She had always kept her home immaculate, a reflection of her orderly and disciplined life. Every corner was spotless, every item in its place. Cleaning was a routine she found both comforting and necessary, a way to fill the void in her life.
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All her life, Margaret had prioritized work and setting up her own life. At nineteen, she was already living alone, working two jobs as a cook to pay for her education.
By twenty-five, she was building a career as a restaurant manager and saving for her own restaurant. Her hard work paid off, and by forty-five, Margaret had everything—a successful restaurant, a beautiful house, and a nice car.
Yet, despite all her achievements, personal happiness had eluded her. She always thought that once she set up her life, a family would come naturally. But when she realized she wanted and needed a family, it was too late.
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Margaret had little experience in interacting with men and even less in building a family. At work, the men were intimidated by her position and her success.
She was respected but also seen as unapproachable. Finding a partner at forty-five turned out to be much harder than she had ever imagined.
As Margaret continued cleaning, her phone suddenly chimed with a message. She paused, her heart skipping a beat, and quickly took out her phone. A smile spread across her face when she saw it was a message from Colin.
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She had recently met Colin online, and their communication had developed quickly. Colin understood Margaret; they talked about books, movies, food, and their views on the world.
They had so much in common, but there was a problem. Colin lived in another city, and they hadn’t met yet.
Margaret had been afraid to suggest meeting because she had lied about her age. She told Colin she was thirty, fearing he would reject her if he knew the truth.
She never thought their relationship would progress this far, but now she was ready to meet him in person. She typed out a message: “Colin, we’ve been talking for over a month now, and I really want to meet you.”
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Margaret felt anxious, like a teenager waiting for his response. She kept checking her phone repeatedly, getting frustrated and putting it back face down.
Finally, the reply came, “That’s a great idea, Margaret. I really want to meet too, but I have nowhere to stay in the city. I don’t like staying in hotels.”
Without thinking, Margaret replied instantly, “No problem, stay with me!”
Realizing that her offer might be interpreted as an intimate suggestion, she began to write that she didn’t mean it that way. But Colin responded quickly, “Great, I’ll arrive tomorrow evening. I can’t wait to meet you!”
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Everything was set; she would meet Colin tomorrow. Margaret was overwhelmed with emotions. She was happy to finally meet him but also scared.
She had lied to him about her age, and she feared that when he found out she was much older, he would leave her.
She paced around the living room, her thoughts racing. She imagined their first meeting, worrying about how he would react. But it was too late to back out now; she had to go through with it.
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The next day, Margaret was a whirlwind of activity, preparing for Colin’s arrival. She meticulously cleaned the house, ensuring every corner was spotless.
She decorated the kitchen with fresh flowers and set the table with her best dishes. The aroma of a delicious dinner filled the house as she cooked Colin’s favorite meals, ready to warm up and serve when he arrived.
Everything was ready. As the evening approached, Margaret’s excitement and nerves grew. She was just about to sit down and relax for a moment when her phone rang. Seeing it was her colleague, Alice, she answered quickly.
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“Margaret, hi. I hope I’m not disturbing you, but I have a very urgent request,” Alice said, her voice sounding strained.
“I’m listening, Alice. Did something happen at the funeral? Maybe I can help?” Margaret asked, remembering that Alice was supposed to be at a funeral that day. She had requested a day off from work for it.
“I feel so awkward asking this, but my car is stuck nearby,” Alice explained, sounding embarrassed.
“Of course, I’ll help. I’ll be there in ten minutes, don’t worry!” Margaret responded without hesitation.
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Margaret wanted to support Alice, understanding that if Alice had called her, it wasn’t just about the car. Most likely, she was struggling to cope with her husband Nathan’s death. So she quickly grabbed her keys and headed out the door.
As she drove, Margaret thought about Alice and how hard it must be to deal with such a loss. She hoped that helping Alice would provide some comfort.
Despite her own nervousness about meeting Colin, she felt a strong sense of responsibility to be there for her friend in need.
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Arriving at the scene, Margaret found Alice standing beside her car, looking helpless and distressed. Without wasting any time, she got to work. She attached Alice’s car to hers with a tow rope and quickly pulled it out of the ditch.
The task was surprisingly easy, almost as if Alice could have done it herself. Margaret brushed off her hands and turned to Alice.
“All set,” Margaret said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
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“Thank you so much, Margaret,” Alice replied, her voice trembling. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
As they stood by the side of the road, Alice’s composure crumbled. She broke down in tears, unable to hold back the flood of emotions any longer. Margaret stepped forward, wrapping her arms around her in a comforting hug.
“It’s just so hard,” Alice sobbed. “Ever since Nathan died, everything feels impossible. I thought I could handle today, but I can’t.”
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Margaret’s heart ached for her friend. She knew how much Alice loved Nathan and how difficult the past few months had been for her. “I’m so sorry, Alice. It’s okay to feel like this. You don’t have to go through it alone.”
Alice wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “Would you walk with me back to his grave? I can’t bring myself to go alone. The guests have left, and I can’t bear the thought of going home to an empty house without him.”
“Of course,” Margaret said softly. “I’ll be right beside you.”
They walked together through the cemetery, the air heavy with the scent of flowers and freshly turned earth.
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Margaret supported Alice by the arm, offering silent comfort as they moved between the rows of headstones.
As Margaret gazed around the cemetery, her eyes were drawn to a photo on one of the nearby graves. Her breath caught in her throat as she recognized the face. It was a picture of Colin.
She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She walked closer, her heart pounding, and compared it to the photo she had seen in Colin’s online profile. It was the same person.
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At that moment, fear and confusion washed over Margaret. What could this mean? Who had she been talking to all this time? She felt a chill run down her spine.
Margaret carefully took out her phone and sent a message to Colin, her hands shaking. “Hi, is everything still on for today?”
The reply came quickly, “Yes, of course, I’ll be there at eight!”
Margaret didn’t know what to think. She was scared, her mind racing with questions and doubts, but she knew she needed to find out the truth.
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There had to be some explanation. Maybe it was a misunderstanding, or perhaps there was another explanation she hadn’t considered.
She turned to Alice, giving her one last supportive squeeze. “Alice, I need to go. But please call me if you need anything. I’m here for you.”
“Thank you, Margaret,” Alice said, her voice weak but grateful. “You’ve done so much for me today.”
Margaret said her goodbyes and drove home, her thoughts a jumble of fear. As she navigated the familiar streets, she tried to calm herself. She needed to be composed and ready for Colin’s arrival, no matter what happened.
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Everything was ready: a set table, flowers, and a delicious dinner. Waiting by the door, her mind whirled with thoughts and emotions, especially the mysterious photograph at the cemetery.
As she waited by the door, peeking out the window, her mind was a whirl of thoughts and emotions.
She couldn’t stop thinking about what awaited her, who was coming to her home, and the mysterious photograph she had seen at the cemetery.
Finally, she saw a car park near the house. Her heart raced as she watched a man step out, holding a bouquet of flowers.
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But when Margaret saw his face, she was shocked. He didn’t look like the man in the photos at all. Panic set in, and Margaret quickly hid behind the door, unsure of what to do.
Colin approached the door and rang the bell. Margaret remained silent, her mind racing with fear and confusion. The doorbell rang again, but she didn’t move. Finally, Colin spoke, his voice gentle and apologetic.
“I know you’re inside, Margaret. I can understand why you’re not answering. I don’t look like the man in the photos. I’m really sorry.”
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Margaret’s heart pounded in her chest. She hesitated, but then she heard Colin placing the bouquet down at the doorstep. “I’ll leave these here and go,” he said. “I’m sorry for the deception. I just wanted to meet you so badly.”
As he turned to leave, Margaret couldn’t take it anymore. She opened the door, her voice trembling. “Wait.”
Colin stopped and turned around, his eyes meeting hers. He looked relieved to see her. “Margaret, I’m so sorry. I can explain.”
They stepped inside, the tension between them palpable. Margaret took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. “Why did you lie about your appearance, Colin?”
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Colin looked down, his expression filled with regret.
“It’s hard for me to meet someone. I have almost no experience in relationships. I was very anxious and created a profile with a photo of a handsome man because I thought no one would be interested in the real me. I wanted to tell you many times, but I was afraid you would stop talking to me.”
Margaret listened, her heart softening. She could see the sincerity in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter what you look like, Colin. What matters is that you didn’t lie to me about who you are inside.”
Margaret gasped, feeling a pang of guilt. “I lied too. I said I was thirty, but I’m actually older… I’m forty-five. I was worried you wouldn’t want to meet someone so old…”
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Colin stepped closer, looking into her eyes. “Age doesn’t matter to me, Margaret. You’re beautiful, and I’ve enjoyed every conversation we’ve had. I’m just glad we’re finally meeting in person.”
A smile spread across Margaret’s face. “It’s funny, isn’t it? We both pretended to be someone else because we were afraid.”
Colin chuckled, nodding in agreement. “Yes, it is. But maybe that’s a sign that we have more in common than we thought.”
Margaret felt a sense of relief wash over her. “Would you like to come inside? We can have dinner and start over, without any lies this time.”
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Colin smiled warmly. “I’d like that very much.”
They walked inside together, leaving the flowers on the doorstep as a reminder of their fresh start. As they sat down for dinner, they talked and laughed, sharing their true selves with each other.
The fear and uncertainty began to fade, replaced by a growing connection and understanding. They both knew that building a family couldn’t be based on lies, and this honest beginning was the first step toward something real and lasting.
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How to Recognize Sneaky Narcissistic Traits in Mothers
Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
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