Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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Michelle Obama shared a super sweet anniversary message for Barack Obama.
Michelle Obama and her husband, former President Barack Obama, celebrated their wedding anniversary today. The couple, who have been married for 32 years, shared matching posts to mark the occasion. This year, they celebrated by spending time together at the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York City. In the posts, they are seen hugging, smiling, and posing in front of Alvin Ailey dance posters.
“32 exciting years with my love! Thank you for always supporting me, standing by my side, and making me smile. I love you, @BarackObama,” Michelle wrote in her post. In the picture, they kept it simple, with Michelle wearing a matching tie-dye coat and pants, while Barack wore gray slacks and a coach’s jacket.
Barack shared the same photo, saying, “Happy anniversary, @MichelleObama! 32 years together, and I couldn’t have asked for a better partner and friend to share my life with.”
Fans of the Obamas look forward to the couple’s anniversary posts every year because they always share sweet messages on social media. Birthdays have also become special for them, often featuring cute moments on Instagram.
For their 30th anniversary, Michelle wrote a really sweet note to her husband, saying, “Happy anniversary to the man I love! These last 30 years have been an adventure, and I’m thankful to have you with me. Here’s to a lifetime together. I love you.”
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