Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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Elvis Presley’s Grandson Takes the Stage and Shows His Talent
In a riveting display of talent on “The Voice”, Dakota Striplin made a bold claim that sent shockwaves through the competition: he hinted at being the descendant of the legendary Elvis Presley. Commanding the stage with charisma and skill, Dakota enraptured both judges and audience alike with a rendition of “Love Me Tender” that echoed the spirit of the King himself. Armed only with his guitar, he delivered a performance that was both haunting and electrifying.
The first judge, visibly moved by Dakota’s ethereal vocals, swiveled her chair in a gesture of admiration, her hand resting over her heart. It didn’t take long for another judge to follow suit, drawn in by Dakota’s magnetic presence and undeniable talent, eager to unravel the mystery behind this mesmerizing performance.
Following his spellbinding act, the judges couldn’t help but inquire about Dakota’s choice of song and the inspiration behind it. With heartfelt sincerity, Dakota shared anecdotes of his family’s connection to Elvis, recounting his grandmother’s fond memories of attending the King’s concerts. He even injected a bit of humor into the conversation, playfully hinting at a familial resemblance to the rock and roll icon that left the judges chuckling.
But Dakota didn’t stop there, he tantalized the panel with hints of other intriguing facets of his lineage, alluding to a recent DNA revelation that cast doubt on his established ancestry and hinted at a potential link to Elvis Presley himself.
Embark on a journey through Dakota Striplin’s captivating performance and enigmatic backstory by tuning in to the full video below.
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