Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
I Discovered My Neighbors Had Been Covertly Using My Hot Tub for a Year – I Gave Them a Memorable Lesson
Charlotte never thinks her quiet neighborhood hides secrets. But when she finds out her neighbors have been secretly using her hot tub for a year, she feels shocked and angry. She decides to teach them a lesson they won’t forget. But as she digs deeper, she discovers even more surprising things about the people living next door. What are they hiding?
It was a sunny afternoon, and I was sitting in my backyard, looking at our hot tub.
Tom and I bought our dream house a few years ago, complete with this beautiful backyard and the hot tub.
We were thrilled back then, imagining all the relaxing evenings we would spend soaking in the warm bubbles.
We knew our neighbors but weren’t particularly close. Jim and Lisa lived next door with their teenage children, Emma and Jake. They seemed nice enough, but we never really got to know them well.
Normally, Tom and I would use the hot tub a lot, especially on weekends. But this year, things were different.
I had started a new job that required a lot of travel, and Tom was working extra hours to cover for a coworker who was out on medical leave. It felt like we were always busy, and our hot tub had been neglected for months.
I missed those quiet moments of relaxation we used to have together.
I sighed, feeling a bit nostalgic. We really need to make time for ourselves again, I thought. The hot tub looked lonely, covered, and unused. It was a reminder of how our lives had changed.
I decided to call Tom. “Hey, honey,” I said when he answered, “I was thinking we need to start using the hot tub again. It’s been too long.”
Tom laughed softly. “I agree, Charlotte. Let’s plan for this weekend. We could both use some relaxation.”
I smiled, feeling a bit more hopeful. Maybe things could get back to how they used to be, even if just for a little while.
But before we could enjoy the hot tub again, our neighbor Lisa stopped by one afternoon
“Charlotte, can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked, looking a bit uncomfortable
“Sure, Lisa. What’s up?” I replied, curious about what she wanted to say.
“I hate to bring this up, but could you and Tom keep it down in the evenings on the weekends?” Lisa said, glancing at her feet. “There was loud music and shouting coming from your backyard last Sunday as well. Look, I’ve been quiet all this while, but it’s going to be a year now. The noise is really annoying.”
I stared at her, surprised. “But Lisa, Tom and I were out of town on Sunday. We weren’t even here. We’re out almost every weekend.”
One evening, as Tom and I soaked in the hot tub, I looked around our peaceful backyard and smiled. “We did it, Tom,” I said. “We got our home back.”
Tom nodded, holding my hand. “And we strengthened our community in the process. I couldn’t be prouder of us.”
It was a hard lesson in trust and vigilance, but it made us all stronger and more connected. And for that, I was truly grateful.
What would you have done?
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