According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
3 Disturbing Tales of Elderly Abuse: The Shocking Truth About Ageism
In a world where older people are often ignored, some face unfair treatment just because of their age. These stories show times when older individuals were bullied or not taken seriously but chose to defend their dignity. They demonstrated that respect should not depend on how many years someone has lived.
As people age, they usually hope to be treated with kindness and respect. Unfortunately, that does not always happen.
The following stories share the sad moments when elderly people were judged for their age or how they looked. They also show how these individuals stood up for themselves and demanded the respect they truly deserved.
1. I Was Kicked out of the Restaurant Because of My Age and Outfit – Days Later, I Returned for Payback
I’m Everly, and at 82, life still makes me happy. One Thursday, my daughter, Nancy, surprised me by visiting my shop.
“Let’s try that new restaurant downtown,” she suggested, her face lighting up.
Excited, I quickly agreed and put on my usual floral blouse and khakis. I kept it simple and comfortable, just like Nancy, who wore her favorite jeans and a T-shirt.
We didn’t care much about our outfits; we just wanted to enjoy our day together.
When we entered the restaurant, everything felt very trendy. We noticed we looked different from the younger, fashionable guests, but we didn’t mind.
As we were seated, I saw the host give us a quick, judging glance. That was the first sign something was wrong.
A young waiter came over, and his smile vanished when he looked at us.
“I’m sorry, but this place may not be right for you,” he said coldly.
I blinked, confused and unsure of how to respond.
“You seem too old for our usual guests, and your outfits don’t fit the vibe we want here,” he added, as if that made it okay.
Are you serious? I thought. I could see Nancy’s face turning red with anger.
Before we could say anything, the waiter called two security guards over.
“You need to leave,” he said. “We don’t want to disturb our customers.”
At that moment, I felt so small as I realized I was being judged for my age and clothes. I had never experienced such blatant disrespect before.
Nancy and I quietly stood up and left, but the story didn’t end there.
“This is unacceptable!” Nancy muttered, taking photos of the security guards outside.
Later, she posted our story on Facebook with the pictures. In hours, the post went viral.
I had no idea that our story would inspire others to share their experiences with discrimination. That night, the restaurant’s reputation suffered.
The next day, Mr. Thompson, the owner, called me.
“Mrs. Everly, I’m very sorry,” he started. “I had no idea this happened while I was away. The waiter who disrespected you is… my son. I apologize deeply for his behavior.”
He explained that his son had been in charge while he was gone, and he was horrified by what occurred.
“Please let us make it right,” he said. “I’d like to invite you back for a meal, and my son will personally apologize.”
At first, I hesitated, but Mr. Thompson’s sincere apology made me agree.
A week later, I returned to the restaurant wearing my best silk dress.
Mr. Thompson warmly greeted me at the door.
“Thank you for giving us another chance,” he said.
His son approached shortly after. “Mrs. Everly, I’m truly sorry for what I said. It was wrong, and I’ve learned from this.”
His apology felt genuine, and I could tell he had been humbled.
Mr. Thompson added, “I’ve told my son that our business will succeed only if we treat every customer with respect. This was a tough lesson, but an important one.”
I appreciated their efforts and enjoyed a lovely meal, but it was more than just the food. It was about reclaiming my dignity.
That night, I posted a message online about the apology and praised Mr. Thompson’s actions.
This experience taught me that everyone, no matter their age, deserves respect. Sometimes, you need to stand up and make that clear.
—
2. I Was Mocked by Business Class Passengers, but the Pilot Surprised Me at the End of the Flight
This was my first flight at 85 years old, and everything felt overwhelming as I boarded the plane.
I had saved enough money to buy a business class ticket, hoping for a comfortable trip to New York. But things quickly turned unpleasant when I reached my seat.
“I don’t want to sit next to that… woman!” a man beside me complained, looking at me with disgust.
His name was Franklin, and he was clearly unhappy to see me.
The flight attendant tried to calm him down.
“Sir, this is her seat. She paid for it just like everyone else,” she said gently, but Franklin wasn’t convinced.
“That can’t be true. These seats are too expensive for her! Just look at her clothes!” he exclaimed, pointing at me.
I was wearing my best dress, which wasn’t fancy, and I felt embarrassed as other passengers stared at me. All I wanted was to disappear.
“Miss, it’s okay. If you have another seat in economy, I’ll take it,” I told the kind flight attendant quietly. “I spent all my savings on this seat, but I don’t want to bother anyone.”
“No, ma’am,” she shook her head. “You paid for this seat, and you belong here. No one has the right to make you feel otherwise.”
She turned to Franklin. “Sir, if you don’t calm down, I will have security remove you from this plane.”
I could hear him grumbling under his breath as he reluctantly settled into his seat.
Thank God, I thought. Thank God it’s over.
I tried to relax after takeoff, but I was still shaken by the confrontation. My hands trembled, and I accidentally knocked my purse to the floor, spilling everything out.
To my surprise, Franklin leaned over and started picking things up. His earlier anger seemed to fade.
“This is a beautiful locket,” he said, picking up my ruby necklace.
“It belonged to my mother,” I replied, gently taking it back. “My father gave it to her before he went to World War II. He promised to come back, but he never did.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, looking sympathetic.
“It was all we had of him after he disappeared,” I continued. “My mother cherished it and passed it to me. I’ve held onto it through hard times.”
Franklin nodded.
“I owe you an apology for earlier,” he said. “I’ve been having a tough time, but that’s no excuse for my behavior. I’m sorry.”
I accepted his apology, and the tension between us eased. I shared why I was flying.
“I’m on my way to New York to see my son,” I said.
“Are you visiting him?” Franklin asked.
“No, not directly,” I began. “I gave him up for adoption many years ago because I couldn’t care for him.”
“I found him through a DNA test later, but he didn’t want to reconnect,” I explained. “Today is his birthday, and this flight is my only chance to be near him. He’s the pilot.”
Franklin’s eyes widened in surprise, and he leaned back, processing what I had said.
“I don’t think he knows I’m here,” I whispered.
This was the closest I had been to my son in decades, yet he was completely unaware.
The next few hours passed quietly. As we neared our destination, the pilot’s voice came over the intercom.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be landing at JFK shortly,” he announced. But then, to my surprise, he continued, “Before we land, I want to make a special announcement. My birth mother is on this flight today. It’s her first time flying, and I’d like to welcome her aboard. Hey, Mom, please wait for me after we land.”
At that moment, I realized he knew I was there. Tears filled my eyes as I covered my mouth.
When the plane landed, the moment I had dreamed of finally arrived. My son, Josh, stepped out of the cockpit and walked straight toward me.
The entire cabin erupted in applause as he embraced me.
“Thank you, Mom,” he whispered. “Thank you for everything.”
And just like that, all the years of distance and heartache melted away.
—
3. I Was Kicked Out of a Luxury Store, but a Kind Cop Brought Me Back Later
“Grandma, I don’t care about prom!” my granddaughter, Anne, said over the phone, trying to sound casual.
I knew her well enough.
She was embarrassed because we couldn’t afford to buy a dress. My daughter, Lisa, and I struggled with our limited incomes, and Anne didn’t want to ask for help.
But I wasn’t going to let her miss out on such an important moment.
“Are you sure? Prom can change your life! Your grandfather asked me to his out of the blue, and we got married months later,” I told her, hoping she’d change her mind.
“Grandma, it’s fine. I don’t even have a date,” she replied before hanging up.
After that call, I decided I wouldn’t let her stay home. I had been saving a little bit of my pension for my funeral costs, but this was more important.
Anne deserved a beautiful dress for prom, so I went to a fancy boutique at the mall the next day.
I was admiring one of the dresses when a saleswoman approached me.
“Can I help you… um, ma’am?” she asked, looking at me with disapproval.
“I’m looking for a dress for my granddaughter’s prom,” I said with a smile.
“Well, these dresses are quite expensive. Maybe you should shop at Target instead,” she suggested, crossing her arms.
I understood what she meant. She thought I didn’t belong there because of how I looked.
“I know they’re expensive. I’m just going to look around, okay?” I replied, trying to stay calm.
The saleswoman followed me, throwing more snide comments my way. “I don’t think you understand the prices here, do you? Maybe just ask your granddaughter to pick something cheaper. This is a high-end store, and we have standards.”
It took everything in me to keep my composure.
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” I said firmly, turning to leave.
But before I could exit, the saleswoman called out, “You’re not welcome here. I’ll call security if you don’t leave!”
I felt humiliated as I walked out. As soon as I stepped outside, tears streamed down my face. I thought about calling Anne to tell her I couldn’t find a dress.
Just then, I noticed a police officer nearby. He must have seen how upset I was.
“Are you okay, ma’am?” he asked, approaching me.
I explained what had happened and how I wanted to find a beautiful dress for Anne.
“Let’s go back in there,” he said with determination.
“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine,” I replied.
But he insisted.
“Listen, everyone deserves respect, no matter their age or appearance. I’m going to talk to that saleswoman,” he said.
I felt nervous but followed him back inside.
When we entered the store, the officer marched straight up to the saleswoman.
“Ma’am, I need you to treat this lady with respect. She is here for a legitimate reason, and you shouldn’t judge her based on her appearance,” he said firmly.
The saleswoman went pale, clearly realizing she had crossed the line.
“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” she stuttered.
The officer interrupted her, saying, “You need to learn that everyone is worthy of kindness and respect. Please treat her as you would any other customer.”
With that, he turned to me and said, “You go ahead and find the perfect dress for your granddaughter.”
With a newfound sense of confidence, I looked around the store and finally found a stunning gown. I felt happy for the first time since I entered.
The officer gave me a thumbs-up as I went to the register. I was still nervous but excited for Anne.
In the end, I bought the dress, and I couldn’t wait to see the smile on my granddaughter’s face.
When I told her about my shopping adventure, Anne’s eyes lit up.
“Grandma, you’re the best! Thank you for making this happen!” she said, pulling me into a tight hug.
And just like that, the incident in the store faded away as we planned for prom together.
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