Smaller houses and apartments don’t stop many Japanese couples from sleeping in different beds or even rooms. This is not some kind of an intimate issue or problem with the relationship, but something that they believe is good for them.
We at Bright Side found out why married couples in Japan choose to sleep separately, and we really like their reasons.
They have different sleep schedules.
The first thing that makes Japanese couples decide to go to bed separately is different work schedules. Waking up your significant other just because you got home late from work or have to leave early won’t result in good quality rest for them. This is why spending the night in a different room makes sense. This will give them both an undisturbed and healthier sleep.
Babies sleep with their mothers.
Japanese mothers sleep with their children and this is considered very important, so the father needs to decide if he wants to share the same bed or go to a different room. Even science has proven that co-sleeping can help parents and children get a more restful sleep. It helps the child to maintain a stable temperature and heart rate (which is really critical in infancy) and at the same time, it decreases the chance of sudden infant death syndrome. Also, this contributes to the child having better self-esteem, becoming independent faster, and doing great in school.
For them, sleeping separately means peace.
While many couples who start to sleep alone think that divorce is at their door, the Japanese see it differently. They value their sleep a lot and they don’t want to be disturbed while sleeping. This means that they don’t need and don’t like to put up with snoring, restless sleep, kicking, etc. Even though some don’t have the opportunity to sleep in different rooms, they still wish they could get their beauty sleep.
Couples have a history of sleeping separately.
Futons are filled with cotton, which provides support and comfort. In the past, only single sized ones were used as beds. So, even if you wanted to cuddle up with your loved one, you would have ended up between the sheets, on the cold floor, and you wouldn’t feel comfortable. Today there are families that still use this type of bedding, especially because it doesn’t take up a lot of space and it is easy to store.
Do you sleep separately from your partner? Do you think this type of practice might be even better for your relationship?
After returning from my honeymoon, I discovered a large black box in my hallway — the shocking contents inside turned my world upside down
When Lori and Chris return from their dreamy honeymoon, they are eager to welcome life as a married couple. But as they enter their home, they find a large black box in their hallway. What would have been a wedding present turns into the very thing that destroys their relationship…
The moment we got home, everything felt perfect. The trip had been beautiful, with turquoise waters and sandy beaches, and Chris and I had no worries in the world. All we wanted to do was bask in the bliss of our wedding and the anticipation of our married life together.
As we walked through our front door, everything looked exactly as we had left it, down to the perfectly fluffed couch cushions. Except for the massive black box sitting in the hallway.
I stopped in my tracks.
“What is that?” I asked, the words hanging between us.
I would have thought that maybe it was a welcome-home gift from Chris, but the look on his face told me that it wasn’t.
Chris shrugged, frowning.
“That wasn’t here when we left,” he said.
A note rested on the hallway table beside it, the writing jagged and unfamiliar. I picked it up, feeling a chill in the air.
Lori, open this alone.
I handed it to Chris. We stared at the note, then the box, the weight of it settling into my stomach like a bad premonition.
“Are you sure it’s not from you?” I asked him.
“No, darling,” he said, his frown setting deeper.
“I don’t like this one bit,” I said.
“Well, let’s open it together,” Chris suggested, his tone calm but his eyes cautious. “Just in case it’s something dangerous, you know?”
I nodded. I trusted him completely. Whatever this was, we’d face it side by side. That’s how it’s supposed to be when you’re married, right?
Chris grabbed a knife from the kitchen and carefully cut through the tape. I held my breath as he pulled the flaps open. Inside was something soft—a huge stuffed bear, bigger than anything I’d ever seen, with a giant red heart sewn onto its chest.
We both blinked.
“Seriously?” Chris muttered, his tension evaporating.
I laughed.
“Someone must be messing with us,” he laughed.
“It’s a bit creepy, if I’m being honest,” I said.
“Yeah, let’s just throw it into the basement until we figure out what to do with it. Maybe we should donate it.”
But I wasn’t so sure. Something about the bear felt off. I stepped closer, eyeing the heart on its chest, where the words “Press Me” were embroidered in tiny script.
“I don’t know…” I hesitated, reaching toward the toy.
“Go ahead,” Chris urged when he saw the script. “It’s just a toy. Let’s see what it has to say.”
I pressed the heart, not knowing that our entire world was about to collapse.
A little girl’s voice echoed from the bear.
“Daddy? Daddy, are you there?”
Chris froze beside me. I turned to him, wanting to understand the change in his demeanor. His face was pale, his eyes wide.
The voice continued.
“Daddy, when are you coming to see me? I miss you.”
I felt my pulse hammering in my throat, making me nauseous. The room was suddenly too small. Chris wouldn’t even look at me.
“Daddy, will you come today? Will you come visit me? I’m still in the hospital…”
Then, another voice. A deeper, familiar voice cut through the silence.
“I’m busy, sweetheart. I’ll visit soon.”
It was Chris.
I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.
“Chris?” I whispered. “That’s you? Really?”
The recording continued.
“Please, Daddy? It’s lonely and cold here. Mom is working…”
“I can’t, Kira,” Chris said. “I have things to do.”
There was a beep, and the recording stopped. But the conversation lingered in the air like smoke, suffocating us both. I couldn’t breathe.
“Is this… is this real or some horrible joke?” I asked flatly.
Chris stared at the floor, his hands shaking.
Who was this man? Had I really married a man who had an entire past that I didn’t know about?
“Lori, I don’t know what to say,” Chris started saying.
But I barely heard him. Next to the bear, something caught my eye. A white envelope tucked into the box. I grabbed it, ripped it open, and unfolded the letter inside.
I took a deep breath before reading the letter:
Lori,
Three years ago, your husband abandoned his sick daughter and myself. Our little girl had cancer. Chris promised to help, but one day, he disappeared. He just moved to another state, leaving us behind without a word. I worked multiple jobs, trying to pay for her treatments, which cost me precious moments with my child.
In the end, nothing was enough. The surgery didn’t work. The treatment didn’t work. She died, Lori. My child died at five years old. And all she had left was this toy he sent her before vanishing from our lives. I bet he doesn’t even remember.
I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. My vision blurred, and the room tilted as if the ground was giving way beneath my feet.
I read on, allowing the words to slice me open.
I’m not writing this letter for revenge. I just want you to know the kind of man you’re with. If he could leave a dying child—his dying child—imagine what he’ll do to you when life gets tough. Will he leave you and your child, too? Attached are court documents. I’m filing for child support for the years he abandoned us. I’m not doing this to hurt you. But I wanted to warn you, woman to woman—this man isn’t who he says.
My mind swirled, and my nausea grew worse, but I forced myself to look at the papers inside the envelope. They were court documents, just like the letter said.
“Chris, is this true?” I asked.
But he was already backing away.
“Stand and talk to me!” I shrieked.
“I thought… I thought I could leave it all behind, Lori,” he said. “I swear, I didn’t mean for you to find out like this.”
“Leave it behind?” I spat the words at him, disbelief crashing over me. “You had a daughter. A sick daughter! And you just left her!”
He shook his head, as if trying to shake the truth away.
“I thought I could start over, Lori,” he said.
“You thought you could erase them? Pretend like they never existed? Just move on, like nothing happened?”
Visions of a sick child clouded my brain.
Chris’s silence answered my question. I felt disgust churn in my stomach. The man I had just married, the man that I thought I knew so well…
Now, he was nothing but a stranger.
“I can’t do this,” I said. “I can’t stay married to you. I can’t stay married to a man who could abandon his own child. For goodness’ sake, Chris. I can’t even look at you.”
“Lori, please,” he begged. “I can explain it all.”
“Just take your things and get out,” I said.
“Lori, you don’t mean that. We just got married. We can fix this. We can talk it through.”
“No,” I said. “You lied to me. You lied to her. You let that little girl die thinking that you didn’t care about her. I can’t be with someone like that… I can’t think about having a family with someone like that.”
Chris opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. He turned away, and I watched as he gathered his things in silence.
When he finally walked out the door, the house felt unnervingly quiet. I stood alone in the hallway, the black box still open, the stuffed bear sitting there like some twisted reminder of everything that had unfolded.
I made myself a cup of tea and went to sit outside on the porch. I couldn’t imagine that I was here, sitting and thinking about filing for divorce the next day.
I had been married for a solid 17 days. A part of me wondered if Chris and I could have moved past this…
But what would it say about me? That I didn’t see anything wrong with a man who left his family just because things were dark and difficult?
No. I couldn’t do that.
What would you have done?
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