I thought my big business trip to Los Angeles would be just another day at work, but a strange request from the pilot changed everything about my past and future. My flight was supposed to be smooth, but during the two-hour journey, everything shifted. I’m an architect at a well-known firm, living my dream job after years of hard work and sleepless nights in college.
Recently, my boss gave me a chance to present a major project to investors in LA, which could lead to a long-awaited promotion. I was excited not just for the opportunity but also to make my mother, Melissa, proud. She raised me as a single parent and has always supported my dreams, even after telling me my father passed away before I was born.
After saying goodbye to Mom, I boarded the plane and settled into my seat, ready for takeoff. The flight attendants were friendly, and I was lucky to have an empty seat beside me. As the plane climbed, I felt hopeful about my presentation.
A little while into the flight, a cheerful flight attendant named Bethany approached me with drinks. When I asked for orange juice, she suddenly requested my passport. I found it odd but handed it to her. After a brief inspection, she returned it, explaining it was just a routine check.
Later, she returned and informed me that the pilot wanted to speak with me after we landed. I was puzzled about why he needed to talk and felt anxious about my tight schedule. Bethany insisted it was important, so I decided to wait.
When we landed and the cabin cleared, a tall man with graying hair walked toward me. My heart raced as I recognized him from old photos my mom had shown me; this was Steve, her childhood friend. He looked emotional as he hugged me tightly, tears streaming down his face.
Confused, I wondered what was happening. He pulled back and revealed a birthmark on his wrist that was identical to mine. Then he told me he was my father. My mind raced with disbelief. Mom had never mentioned him. Steve explained that he hadn’t known about me until years later when a friend told him. He shared how my mother had left without telling him she was pregnant, fearing he would give up his dreams for us. Hearing this shattered my understanding of my past, and I felt a strong need to confront my mother.
I called her immediately and asked why she never told me about Steve. Mom’s voice trembled as she finally explained everything. She thought she was protecting him by leaving, believing he would be better off without her.
Listening to their emotional conversation left me reeling. I had grown up believing my father was gone, only to discover he was alive and here with me now. I was torn between shock and anger at my mom’s choices.
Then, as I explained my important meeting to Steve, his expression changed. He revealed that he knew the investors very well from his time flying their private jet and could help me get in front of them. He quickly made calls and arranged for me to meet them that day.
Thanks to Steve, my meeting went even better than I expected. The investors were impressed with my project and agreed to fund it. To top it off, I received a call from my boss offering me the promotion I had hoped for. Afterward, Steve greeted me with open arms, proud of my success. I realized that this man, who was once a stranger, now played a vital role in my life.
The following week, Steve visited our house to meet Mom. It was an emotional reunion filled with tears and laughter, making me feel whole for the first time. That night, as I lay in bed, I marveled at how a routine flight had turned into the discovery of my father. This unexpected twist made me feel grateful for the future and the family I had finally begun to know.
Why More Happy Couples Prefer to Sleep in Separate Beds
According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
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