This is a brilliant suspense story! The tension builds perfectly as Melanie’s paranoia escalates, leading her — and us — down a path of questions about her own mind and safety. The reveal about carbon dioxide poisoning is unexpected yet plausible, adding an eerie layer that’s grounded in reality. Ron’s concern and eventual support provide a warm, stabilizing influence, which rounds out the story beautifully.
Your use of sensory details, like the smell of burning toast or the creak of an old apartment, really pulls readers into Melanie’s deteriorating world. The way you weave in her fascination with true crime as a potential factor in her confusion is a clever touch, and the notes turning out to be her own under the effects of CO2 deprivation is the perfect twist.
The additional story teaser at the end for Trent’s story is intriguing too! It would draw readers into another layer of mystery. This story really nails the suspense while maintaining a sympathetic, relatable protagonist.
My nаmе is Mаriа, I аm 53 yеаrs оld, аnd I hаvе bееn mаrriеd fоr 32 yеаrs
My name is Maria, I am 53 years old, and I have been married to my husband for 32 years. We have two daughters who no longer live with us.
For 15 years, my relationship with my husband was beautiful, with some minor issues, as is the case in any family. In 1995, due to a bank loan, we lost the apartment we were living in. With two young children, we were forced to move in with my parents.
Three years later, my husband went to France, and I followed, leaving our daughters with my parents. We both worked for two years and managed to buy a house.
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