I was shocked when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of losing my temper, I decided to play along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his new idea of marriage.
I’ve always been the calm and reasonable one in our relationship. Jake, on the other hand, can easily get caught up in new trends or ideas, whether it’s a hobby or a YouTube video that claims to change his life in just a few easy steps.
Jake and I were fine until he met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loud made him right. He’d talk over anyone who tried to correct him. He was also always single (no surprise there), but that didn’t stop him from giving relationship advice to all his married friends, including Jake. Jake, who should’ve known better, was impressed by Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t worry about it much at first, but then Jake started saying things like, “Steve says marriages work best when the wife handles the household,” or “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.” I’d roll my eyes and make sarcastic comments, but it was bothering me. Jake was changing. He’d raise an eyebrow if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and he’d sigh if I let the laundry pile up—forgetting that I also had a full-time job.
Then one night, it happened. Jake came home with The List.
He sat me down, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across the table. “I’ve been thinking,” he began, sounding condescending in a way I’d never heard before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, not realizing he was walking into dangerous territory. “Yeah, Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I looked at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule, titled “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” Jake had actually written out a plan for me based on what Steve—a single guy with no relationship experience—thought I should do to “improve” as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast, then go to the gym to “stay in shape.” After that? Cleaning, laundry, ironing—all before heading to work. Every evening, I was to cook dinner from scratch and make snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over. It was sexist and insulting on so many levels, I didn’t know where to start. I just stared at Jake, wondering if he had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, unaware.
“Steve says it’s important to have structure, and I think you could benefit from—”
“Benefit from what?” I interrupted, keeping my voice calm. Jake blinked, surprised, but quickly recovered.
“Well, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw the paper in his face, but instead, I surprised myself—I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m lucky you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
He looked relieved, and I almost felt sorry for him as I stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I looked at the ridiculous schedule and smiled. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” he was about to learn a lesson. I opened my laptop and started a new document titled, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” If he wanted perfection from me, there was a cost.
I started by listing all the things he’d suggested for me, beginning with the gym. “$1,200 for a personal trainer,” I typed, barely holding back a laugh.
Next was the food. If Jake wanted gourmet meals, that wasn’t happening with our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That wasn’t cheap. “$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. And if he wanted fancy meals, he’d need cooking lessons too—those were expensive.
I leaned back, laughing as I imagined his face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. The best part was yet to come.
There was no way I could manage all these demands and keep my job. If Jake wanted me to follow his absurd schedule full-time, he’d have to cover my lost income. I calculated my salary and added it to the list. “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”
By now, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.
And just for fun, I added a note about expanding the house. If Jake was going to have friends over all the time, they’d need a separate space. “$50,000 to build a man cave so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s new routine.”
I printed out the list, set it on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he arrived, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called, spotting the paper. “What’s this?”
Keeping a straight face, I said, “Oh, just a little list to help you become the best husband ever.”
He chuckled, thinking I was playing along, but as he read the list, his smile faded. “$1,200 for a trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I crossed my arms. “Well, you want me to follow your plan, right? I figured we should budget for it.”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?”
“How else can I follow your plan?” I asked. “I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
Jake looked stunned. The numbers and the absurdity of his demands hit him all at once. His smugness disappeared, replaced by the realization that he had messed up.
“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he stammered. “I just thought—”
“You thought you could ‘fix’ me like a project?” I said, my voice calm but firm. “Jake, marriage is about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, it’ll cost you a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
There was a long silence. Jake sighed and looked at me, defeated.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see… it’s toxic. I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded. “Yes, you have. And honestly, Steve has no idea what he’s talking about. Why would you listen to him?”
Jake’s face softened as the truth hit him. “You’re right. He has no clue.”
We tore up both lists, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team. It was a reminder that marriage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being better together.
As I was about to drive my wife in labor to the hospital, I received a call saying my mother was passing away
Just as my wife’s water broke, I got a call from my mother’s nurse, and she told me my mom was dying. I was torn and forced to make a difficult decision.
The day Debra found out she was pregnant was one of those days that I will cherish for the rest of my life. We had cried together, unable to believe that we were going to have a baby home soon, and I promised Debra I’d be an amazing dad.
Debra and I had waited to become parents for a long time. We were one of those miracle couples who conceived after going through tons of failed fertility treatments and doctors telling us there was no chance.
“We’ll be the best parents to him, darling,” I told Debra one night. “I can’t wait to hold our baby in my arms.”
“I know, honey,” she’d said, smiling. I gently kissed her baby bump and promised Debra I’d always be by her side.
Debra had always been very anxious about the pregnancy due to the complications, and I had told her I would be there for her, so there was no need to worry.
Little did I know fate would plunge me into a situation where I’d have to choose between her and my mom while was in labor…
I still get chills when I recall that day. It started as a beautiful day. The sun was shining brightly, and nothing seemed wrong with the outside world. I was preparing breakfast in the kitchen because Debra wasn’t feeling well that morning.
I quickly assembled a breakfast plate for her, and I went to call her for breakfast. As I entered our bedroom, I saw she was leaning against the wall with one hand, clutching her baby bump and breathing heavily.
“Honey, are you okay?” I dashed to her, worried. “Should I call the doctor?”
“Gordon…my water…it…it broke,” she whispered heavily, and that’s when I noticed the floor beneath her. It was wet. “Take me to the hospital, Gordon…Please!” she cried.
“Jesus!” I panicked. “I’ll get the car started. Just hang on a sec, honey.”
I ran to our car, grabbing the keys from the bowl on the living room shelf. I opened the car door, then rushed back inside to help Debra.
“Don’t worry, honey. We’ll reach the hospital in no time. Okay, we’ve got this.” I was comforting her as her labor pains began. I was terrified and nervous. I was praying everything would be fine.
After we made it to the car and Debra got inside, I locked her door and rushed to take my seat. Then my phone rang. It was my mom’s nurse, Marla, calling me. My mother had been diagnosed with a progressive cardiac condition, and due to her illness, she was confined to bed rest.
Worried, I answered the phone, and Marla’s voice on the other end of the line broke me from inside.
“Gordon,” she said in a weak voice. “Your mom… She had a heart attack, so I took her to the hospital. The doctors say there is little hope she’ll make it… Your mother is dying. I think you should be here as soon as you can.”
“Jesus, Jesus!” I exhaled a sigh. Why was everything happening at the same time? I was ripped to shreds and didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, there was Debra, who was in labor, and on the other, there was my mother.
I went inside the car, tears in my eyes, and told Debra everything. I couldn’t hide it from her, anyway. She saw my face and asked me what was wrong. And I blurted everything out.
“Mom is dying, honey. She had a heart attack, and Marla’s asking me to be there as soon as possible. I am so nervous. I – I don’t know what to do….”
“Honey,” Debra said. “Call a taxi. I’ll go by myself…”
“What?” I was taken aback. “No, we can’t do that!”. She was drenched in sweat and moaning in pain. “Look at you. It’s just not….”
“We don’t have time, honey…Ahh…call the taxi now, Gordon. Your mom needs you. You are a son first, then a husband. I will manage. Your mom…she…” Her pain was becoming worse.
“I’m calling the taxi. Oh, God!”
Thankfully, I got a taxi soon, and I instructed the driver to take Debra to the hospital safely. My hands shook as I drove to my mother’s hospital, and my tears wouldn’t stop. My heart was racing, wondering about Debra’s condition and if our baby would be alright.
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