Laughter truly is the best medicine, and who doesn’t love a good joke to brighten their day? From kids and animals to life’s quirky moments, these 12 jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.
Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a laugh-out-loud moment, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a collection of humor that’s as diverse as it is hilarious.
Friends laughing at something on a cell phone | Source: Pexels
The Parrot and the Burglar
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house. As he tiptoed through the living room, a booming voice stopped him in his tracks: “Jesus is watching you!”
Terrified, he froze, but when silence returned, he crept forward again.
The voice echoed once more, “Jesus is watching you!”
Panicking, the burglar scanned the room and spotted a parrot in a cage.
“Was that you?” he asked.
A burglar holding his hands against his head | Source: Pexels
“Yes,” the parrot replied.
Relieved, the burglar asked, “What’s your name?”
“Moses,” said the bird.
“Moses? That’s a dumb name for a parrot. What idiot named you that?”
A parrot in a birdcage | Source: Pexels
The parrot squawked, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Moses’ quick wit is just the start of this laughter-filled journey. As we turn the page to the next joke, prepare for a story that combines a bit of mystery with a generous dose of hilarity. Hold onto your sides as we dive into this playful tale by the cemetery.
The Nutty Cemetery Mix-Up
Two boys were sitting behind a nut tree near a cemetery fence, dividing a bucket of nuts. The bucket was so full that some nuts fell out and rolled away, ending up near the fence. The boys ignored them for now and continued dividing the nuts in the bucket.
Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels
“One for you, one for me,” they chanted.
A third boy cycling by heard the voices and thought, “It’s Satan and St. Peter dividing souls!” Terrified, he rushed to an old man further down the road. After much persuasion, the old man hobbled over with him to see what the boy was talking about.
Peering through the fence, they heard, “One for you, one for me…”
Trembling, the old man whispered, “This is real!”
A shocked elderly man peering through a fence | Source: Midjourney
But just as they braced themselves, the boys finished dividing the nuts and said, “Now let’s fetch the ones by the fence.”
The old man reportedly made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
Those mischievous boys by the cemetery certainly knew how to spark some laughs. But now, let’s shift gears to a family situation with a humorous twist. This next joke shows just how creative (or not) some relatives can be when left in charge.
The Twin Naming Fiasco
A man attending a conference overseas got the news that his wife had given birth to twins. Excited, he called her and asked, “Who took you to the hospital?”
A happy man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Your brother, Joe,” she replied. “And since I was under anesthesia, he also named the babies.”
Horrified, the husband exclaimed, “Joe’s a moron! What did he name them?”
“Well, we have a girl and a boy. He named the girl Deniece.”
“That’s not so bad. What about the boy?”
A thoughtful man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Joe called him De-nephew.”
Joe’s naming antics were nothing short of entertaining, weren’t they? But hold on, because this next tale introduces a farmer who takes communication to a whole new level. Get ready to laugh as a lawyer struggles to decode a farmer’s quirky requests.
The Farmer’s Divorce Dilemma
A farmer walked into a lawyer’s office and said, “I want a day-vorce.”
A farmer standing in a lawyer’s office | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer asked, “What grounds do you have?”
“About 140 acres,” the farmer replied.
Exasperated, the lawyer asked, “Do you have a grudge?”
“Sure do—that’s where I park my tractor.”
Finally, the lawyer shouted, “Why do you want a divorce?”
A lawyer leaning on his desk, looking frustrated | Source: Pexels
The farmer sighed, “I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”
The farmer’s take on communication left us in stitches, but the humor doesn’t stop there. This time, we’re jumping into the world of a frog with an unusual destiny. Get ready for a ribbit-ing prediction that’s bound to crack you up.
The Frog’s Unfortunate Prediction
A frog called a psychic hotline.
A frog on a table | Source: Pexels
He was thrilled when the psychic told him, “In the next month, you’ll meet a beautiful young woman. She’s going to be fascinated by you and want to know everything about you.”
“Where will I meet her?” the frog asked eagerly. “Will we be at a party? Or, maybe she’ll be strolling past my home?”
The psychic replied, “None of those. You’ll meet her in her biology class next semester.”
A woman speaking into a headset microphone | Source: Pexels
Just when you thought things couldn’t get more unexpected, we’ve got a wartime confession that’s equal parts surprising and amusing. This joke reveals how even serious situations can take a turn for the hilariously awkward. Let’s dive in.
The Never-Ending War
A man in Amsterdam confessed to his priest, “During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.”
“That’s not a sin,” the priest reassured him. “You helped someone in need.”
A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels
“But I charged him 20 Gulden a week,” the man added.
“That wasn’t good, but you still saved his life,” said the priest.
The man lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. But tell me, Father, do I have to tell him the war’s over?” asked the man.
A man confessing his sins to a priest | Source: Pexels
That moral dilemma from WWII had quite the twist, didn’t it? Now, let’s step into the workplace for a story of pure comedic misfortune. Brace yourself for a laugh-out-loud moment that could only happen to someone truly unlucky.
The Iron Phone Incident
Mark showed up to work with two red, sore ears.
His coworker asked, “What happened?”
A man working on a construction site glancing to one side | Source: Pexels
Mark explained, “I was ironing while watching TV. When the phone rang, I picked up the iron instead.”
“And the other ear?”
“The guy called back.”
Mark’s phonecall mishap had us in tears, but this next one takes us to a fast-food joint where sharing gets a hilarious spin. Get ready for a tale of an elderly couple who redefine the concept of “togetherness” in the quirkiest way possible.
Sharing is Caring
An elderly couple walked into a fast-food restaurant and ordered one burger and a small order of fries. As they sat down, they carefully split everything: the burger, the fries, even the drink.
A burger and fries on a table | Source: Pexels
A trucker watching nearby felt sorry for them and offered to buy the wife her own meal.
The husband politely declined, saying, “Oh, no, thank you. We share everything.”
A few minutes later, the trucker noticed that while the husband was eating, the wife hadn’t touched a bite.
Concerned, he asked, “Why aren’t you eating?”
A trucker seated in a fast-food restaurant | Source: Midjourney
The wife replied sharply, “Because I’m waiting for the teeth!”
From fast-food hilarity to a nocturnal adventure, this next joke is a real screamer—or should we say squeaker? Join us as we enter the world of bats with a twist that’s both dark and uproarious.
The Blind Bat
A vampire bat returned to his cave covered in blood, only to be hounded by others asking where he got the blood.
Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels
Finally, he led them through a forest and pointed to a tree.
“Do you see that tree?” he asked.
“YES!” they screamed.
“Good,” he said, “because I didn’t!”
That bat’s nocturnal adventure was one for the books, but now it’s time for a lighter laugh. This next joke involves flowers, sympathy, and a classic case of mixed messages that’ll leave you grinning.
The Florist’s Card Mix-Up
A store owner was thrilled to receive a bouquet of flowers on the opening day of his new business.
A bouquet with a card | Source: Pexels
However, his excitement turned to confusion when he read the card attached: “Deepest Sympathy.”
Puzzled, the man called the florist to report the mistake. The florist apologized profusely and said, “I’m so sorry about that! Your card must have been sent to the funeral home instead.”
The store owner asked, “What did that card say?”
A man holding a note while making a phone call | Source: Pexels
The florist replied, “‘Congratulations on your new location.'”
Florists may have their missteps, but wait until you hear about this lawyer with a name that’s as clever as his joke. This next tale is all about wordplay and a fitting tribute with a punchline to match.
The Honest Lawyer
A lawyer named Strange ordered a tombstone inscribed, “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer.”
The stonecutter refused, saying, “It’s illegal to bury two people in one grave. But I can write, ‘Here lies an honest lawyer.'”
A man ordering a tombstone | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer protested, “How will people know it’s me?”
The stonecutter replied, “Easy. They’ll read it and say, ‘That’s Strange!'”
We’ve had clever wordplay and hilarious mix-ups, but now it’s time to finish strong with a tale of extreme conditions and an unexpected celebration. Buckle up for this finale that’s sure to leave you laughing out loud.
The Farmer in Hell
A farmer from Texas found himself in hell after he passed away. The Devil was surprised to find the farmer unfazed and smiling in the heat.
A farmer relaxing in Hell | Source: Midjourney
“Why are you so happy?” asked the Devil.
The farmer replied, “This feels just like a hot June day back home when I’m plowing my fields.”
Annoyed, the Devil increased the heat to 105 degrees with stifling humidity. Yet the farmer continued to smile no matter how high the Devil cranked up the heat.
Finally, the Devil decided to freeze hell over, setting the temperature to a bone-chilling -10 degrees.
Frozen lava | Source: Midjourney
To the Devil’s surprise, the farmer began running around and shouting with joy.
“What are you so happy about now?” the Devil demanded.
The farmer shouted, “The Cowboys must’ve won the Super Bowl!”
Whether it’s a parrot outsmarting a burglar or a farmer making the Devil sweat, these stories are sure to brighten your day.
Two women laughing together | Source: Pexels
So, share them with friends, family, or coworkers, and keep the laughter going. After all, life’s too short not to laugh out loud!
Keep the laughs coming with these jokes about bars, jobs, and quirky animals.
Widower Is Barred from Boarding a Flight with His Newborn Baby, 82-Year-Old Meredith Helps Him — Story of the Day
A widowed man travels a long way to retrieve his newborn baby, but when he tries to return home with the child, he is refused entry into the plane.
Bob Hollis was running late. The 40-year-old had just received a call from a Florida hospital telling him a girl had just been born and he was listed as the father.
He would have discounted it as a prank, but he knew his wife was in Florida for a short holiday he organized for her while he renovated their home — it was a surprise.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
The two had no kids of their own and had adopted three because adoption was something they both wanted to be involved in, so they needed to add more rooms to their house, which was why he was renovating.
Among the two, Bob was more particular about getting a foster child because he was one himself, and he had grown up promising himself to take in as many kids as he could.
“If I can help those kids grow up to be the best of themselves then I feel like I’ve made a huge difference,” he told his wife while they were discussing it.
Bob was also father to two grown kids whom he conceived while he was with his former wife, Ellen. The two went their separate ways after the woman decided to cheat with their pool boy, and she was caught.
He met his second wife, Mary, two years later, and after dating for several months, they got married. They tried to have kids but were unsuccessful, and this motivated them to look into adoption, but they never stopped trying to make babies.
One day, their persistence paid off, and Mary conceived a child. It was in preparation of the baby’s arrival that Bob decided to expand the house to include a nursery and an extra room.
After making the decision, he got Mary, who was due in two months, on a plane to Florida — a place she had always wanted to visit. But when she arrived in Florida, the woman immediately went into labor and was subsequently rushed to the hospital.
Unfortunately, she died during childbirth, so Bob was told that because the child was a newborn, it was necessary to fly out immediately. He packed his suitcases and flew to Florida to pick up her daughter.
When his plane landed, he rented a car and made his way to the hospital, where his wife had allegedly passed away.
The news of her death still ate at him, but he knew there would be time to grieve later, so he focused on bringing home their only child together.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Shutterstock
When he arrived at the hospital, he met with the volunteer at the intensive care unit, a woman who was 82 years old and recently widowed.
Her name was Mrs. Sticks, and she had things to tell Bob. “What happened?” he asked her as soon as he entered her office.
“Have a seat Mr. Hollis,” she said calmly.
“I’m better off standing, he replied.
“I’m sorry for your loss Mr. Hollis, but your wife suffered some complications giving birth to your child.”
At that, Bob cried bitterly, and Mrs. Sticks quietly watched him, choosing to let him grieve. After a few minutes, she cleared her throat and spoke.
“As I understand you have come for the child, but I have to make sure that you have what it takes to care for one,” Mrs. Sticks said.
Bob let her know that he was already a father and Mrs. Meredith Sticks nodded appreciatively as if to say, “You’ll do,” but she still gave him her phone number.
“Call me if you need anything,” she said. The kind woman also offered her new acquaintance a ride to the airport on the day of departure.
Things went on smoothly for Bob until it was time to board the plane. When he got to the boarding gate, the woman at the counter refused to let him through.
“Is this your child sir?” she asked.
“Of course she is,” he said.
“I’m sorry but she seems too young to be on an airplane. How old is she?”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“She’s four days old. Now can I get through?” Bob said.
“I’m sorry sir, but you’ll have to present her birth certificate and wait till she is at least seven days old before traveling with her,” the woman said sternly.
“What’s this?” Bob asked angrily. “Are you saying I have to remain here for the next couple of days? I have no family here to stay with which is why I must get home today.”
“I’m sorry, it’s the policy,” the woman said and turned her attention to the next person in line.
Bob knew that it would take him quite some time to obtain the document but he also had nowhere to go in Florida and no one to ask for help.
He was preparing to spend the night at the airport when he remembered Mrs. Sticks, the kind woman from the medical center. He would rather not have bothered her, but he had no choice, and the night was quickly approaching.
“Hello Meredith,” he said. “I need your help.”
When Mrs. Sticks found out about Bob’s problem, she immediately promised to return to the airport and bring them to her home — it was an offer that astounded Bob, who knew he would most likely have refused to help if he was in her place.
“Compassion still thrives in this world,” he thought to himself.
Bob stayed at Mrs. Sticks’ house for more than a week before he returned to Texas. The woman didn’t just welcome Bob and his daughter into her home. She helped him cope with the newborn baby as well as the death of his wife by talking to him and comforting him. She even helped him arrange for the proper transportation of his wife’s body, making things easier for him.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
The man could not believe how generous she was and would always call her a real angel — even his daughter seemed to love the woman because the girl would start to glow and giggle just from hearing the woman’s voice.
During his stay, Bob learned that the woman had four grown children, seven grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren.
Together they looked after the baby, took relieving walks, and even went to honor the memory of Mrs. Sticks’ departed husband — activities that brought the two even closer.
The man saw in Mrs. Sticks his mother who had passed away a long time ago, and he knew he would miss her a lot when he flew home.
After receiving his daughter’s birth certificate, he was permitted to return home, but Bob continued to keep in touch with the old lady who had helped him.
He had no idea how things would have worked out without her, and he never forgot her kindness, so he visited her every year with his little daughter until she passed away a few years later.
A lawyer reached out to him at her funeral and told him that Mrs. Sticks had left him part of her inheritance, just like she did for her kids.
In honor of her kindness, Bob donated the money to a charity he founded together with her four kids, including her oldest daughter Shirley, whom he fell in love with due to constant exposure to her charms. Later, the two got married, and she became a mother to his six kids.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
What did we gain from this story?
- Kindness leaves a lasting impression. Bob could never forget Mrs. Sticks, who was there for him in his difficult times. Her heart inspired him to found the charity organization, which was a way to share more kindness around.
- Imbibe the culture of giving back. Bob adopted three kids with his late wife because he was from a foster home himself and wanted to find a way to make the lives of kids in orphanages better. It is an act worthy of emulation.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a young couple who bought a used car and found a wallet under the seat with an old photo inside.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
Leave a Reply