I always dreamed of becoming a mother, and finally, my dream was coming true. But the joy of expecting a child was overshadowed by my husband’s unexpected business trip and the arrival of a stranger who turned out to be connected to my past.
My husband David and I had been preparing and planning for a child for a long time, but for many years, nothing worked out. We had tried everything we could think of, and the constant disappointment was heartbreaking.
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But eight months ago, everything changed. I finally saw those coveted two lines on the pregnancy test. This pregnancy was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
The joy I felt was indescribable. I knew I would never abandon this child as someone once did to me. Even though I was adopted when I was a year old, and my adoptive parents were wonderful, learning that I was adopted broke me at the time.
It felt like a part of my identity was missing. But now, I was eagerly awaiting our baby, ready to give them all the love I had received and more.
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David and I decided to have a partner birth, so I knew it would be a special moment for both of us.
One evening, when David returned from work, he looked very tired and worried. I tried to find out what had happened, but he only responded that everything was fine.
We had dinner in silence, and I felt he wasn’t telling me something. The tension in the air was thick, and I could see he was struggling with something.
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“David, please talk to me. It’s hard for me to see you like this,” I said, my voice soft but insistent.
David sighed heavily and rubbed his nose, looking down at the floor. “Alright,” he began slowly. “I’ve been sent on a business trip in ten days. I’ll be paid very well for it, and I thought it was a good opportunity since the baby is coming soon.”
“That’s great. Why do you look so sad then?” I asked, feeling a knot form in my stomach.
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“Because they don’t know how long they’ll need me there. They said to expect anywhere from two weeks to a month,” David said, his voice strained.
“But the birth could happen during that time,” I said, placing a hand on my stomach, feeling a wave of anxiety wash over me.
“I know. That’s why I’m in this state,” David replied, his eyes filled with worry.
“Then refuse,” I suggested, trying to keep my voice steady.
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“I can’t. It will affect my future work, and we could use the extra money,” he explained, frustration evident in his tone.
“But you might not be there for the birth,” I said, my voice breaking slightly.
David got up and came over to me, hugging me tightly. “That’s why I found a doula for you. I want you to have support while I’m away,” he said, his voice gentle.
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“I want to give birth with my husband, not some stranger,” I said, dissatisfied.
“I know. But Martha is very good, and many people recommended her to me,” he tried to reassure me.
“I don’t like this idea,” I said, shaking my head.
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“I’ll try to return as soon as possible, but I want us to have some backup. Let me arrange a meeting with her while I’m still here. If you don’t like her, we’ll look for other options,” he offered, trying to find a compromise.
“I don’t want other options. I want you to be with me,” I insisted, feeling tears well up in my eyes.
“I want to be with you and the baby too,” David said, placing his hand on my belly. “That’s why I feel awful about having to leave. But we’ll get through this, and I hope to be back before you start giving birth, okay?”
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“Okay,” I said softly.
That evening, we just lay together, hugging, as if not wanting to let each other go for even a moment. The fear of him not being there for the birth was heavy in my heart, but I knew we had to face this together, even if it meant being apart for a little while.
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Two days after that conversation with David, I was on my way to meet the doula, Martha. To be honest, I wasn’t very positive about this meeting because I didn’t fully understand how a stranger could support me during such an important moment.
I parked near the café where Martha and I had agreed to meet and went inside. The café was warm and inviting, with the rich smell of coffee filling the air. I looked around, not knowing which of the people there was Martha.
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Suddenly, a woman sitting alone at a table waved at me, and I realized it was her. She looked older than I expected, around 50, with kind eyes and a gentle smile. I approached and sat at the table.
“Hi! I’m Martha, and you must be Sheila,” she said, her smile warm and inviting.
“Yes, but how did you know it was me?” I asked, a bit surprised.
“You looked confused… and pregnant,” she added with a gentle laugh.
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“Right, I just feel like this belly has always been with me,” I said, laughing too.
“I understand, but believe me, you’ll feel such relief when it’s gone,” Martha said, nodding.
“I can only imagine,” I replied, trying to picture that moment.
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Martha and I talked for two hours. She explained what her work would involve and how she could help me. She spoke about different techniques for pain management, relaxation, and support during labor.
I described how I envisioned the process, emphasizing the importance of a calm and supportive environment. It turned out our views were very similar, and we immediately found common ground.
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Martha’s experience and empathy reassured me, and I was grateful to David for coming up with this idea.
As the conversation was ending, Martha asked, “Do you have any more questions for me?”
“Yes, I don’t want to be tactless, but do you have children?” I asked, feeling a bit awkward.
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“No, I decided to dedicate my life to medical school and then to working in this field, but now I’m here,” Martha said, smiling. “But I have given birth,” she added softly.
“Oh…” I said, sensing it might have been something very personal and possibly traumatic for her.
We stood up from the table, and Martha came over to hug me goodbye. As she hugged me, I noticed her looking at the large birthmark on my shoulder.
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“In my teenage years, I thought about removing it because I didn’t like it, but now I consider it my unique feature,” I said, trying to make light of it. Martha looked at me, puzzled. “I’m talking about the birthmark,” I added for clarity.
“Oh, yes. It’s very nice,” Martha said, rushing off. I didn’t understand her behavior but decided to ignore it. Maybe she remembered she was late for something.
As I left the café, I felt a mix of relief and curiosity, wondering more about this woman who would be by my side during such an important moment.
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Time passed, and my due date was approaching. It was hard without David during this period, but Martha was very supportive. She visited almost every day and even helped with household chores.
Her presence was comforting, and she always knew how to calm my nerves. I felt like Martha understood me like no one else. It was as if we were related, and I couldn’t shake that feeling.
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David was supposed to fly back home that day, and I just hoped he would make it before our baby started to arrive. Martha and I were checking my hospital bag, probably for the tenth time, due to my anxiety.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure everything you need is there. If anything is missing, I’ll definitely bring it,” Martha said, her voice calm and reassuring.
“I know, I just want everything to go perfectly,” I replied, trying to hide my anxiety.
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“Oh, dear. This is childbirth; it can’t be perfect. But your baby will be, and that’s what matters,” she said, smiling.
“Thank you, Martha,” I said, feeling a bit better. I went to the kitchen to pour myself some cold juice. As I approached the fridge, I felt something was wrong. I realized my water bag had broken. I immediately went to Martha.
“My water broke,” I said, panicking, my voice trembling.
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“Quick, sit down,” Martha said, helping me to the couch. Within seconds, I felt the first contraction and screamed.
“Breathe, remember how I taught you to breathe,” Martha said. But the pain was too intense for me to think clearly. “Breathe, Amber, breathe,” she said, and it snapped me out of my panic.
“What did you call me?” I asked, confused.
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“I meant Sheila, sorry, I made a mistake,” Martha said quickly. “But you need to focus on your breathing now.”
“When I was born, they named me Amber. But my mother abandoned me, and my adoptive parents renamed me when I was a year old, right after they adopted me. Don’t tell me this is a coincidence,” I pressed her, my heart racing.
“Sheila, it truly is just a coincidence,” Martha said, her face serious.
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“What happened to the baby? You said you gave birth but have no children. What happened to that baby?” I asked, my voice rising.
“I gave her up for adoption,” Martha answered quietly.
“It was me, wasn’t it? I felt something was off. I noticed we were too similar,” I said, my voice shaking.
“Sheila, you need to focus on your baby now,” Martha said, trying to keep me calm.
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“It was me?!” I shouted, feeling a mix of anger and confusion.
“Yes,” Martha admitted.
“And how long have you known?” I demanded.
“Since our first meeting when I saw your birthmark,” Martha said, her eyes filled with regret.
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“I can’t believe you’ve been lying to me all this time!” I cried, feeling betrayed.
“Sheila, I wanted to do the right thing,” she said, her voice breaking.
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to see you,” I said, struggling to get up from the couch, grabbing my hospital bag, and heading to the car.
“What are you doing?” Martha shouted after me.
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“I’m driving myself to the hospital, and you can leave. I don’t want to see you,” I replied.
“That’s dangerous!” she shouted, but I ignored her. The contractions were coming fast, but I couldn’t think about anything other than getting to the hospital and being away from Martha.
I got into the car, feeling intense contractions but trying to drive anyway. The pain was overwhelming, making it hard to focus on the road. The drive to the hospital felt endless, each bump and turn amplifying the agony.
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I kept trying to call David, but he wasn’t answering his phone. He was probably still on the plane. I prayed he would make it in time.
When I finally reached the hospital, nurses surrounded me with concern. They asked me many questions I couldn’t answer in my state. They quickly put me in a room, and a doctor told me I would give birth within two hours.
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My labor was progressing rapidly. David still hadn’t called me back, and the worry added to my pain. My whole body was in agony, and I felt like I couldn’t bear it any longer.
Suddenly, I saw the door to the room open, and Martha walked in.
“I don’t want to see you!” I screamed, my voice filled with pain and anger.
Martha calmly approached me. “I called David. He was leaving the airport and should be on his way here,” she said. “I know you’re angry, but I can help you until David arrives.”
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“I don’t need anything from you!” I shouted, but then another contraction began, making me cry out in pain. Martha breathed with me and applied a cold compress to my head.
I decided to stop arguing. I really needed support, even if it was from the woman who had abandoned me and then lied. An hour later, the pushing began, and the doctor said it was time to give birth.
“I don’t want to give birth without David!” I cried. “He should be here soon.”
“Sweetheart, the baby is the priority now, and we can’t delay,” Martha said gently.
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“No! I want my husband by my side!” I pleaded, but they didn’t listen. The doctor and nurses gathered around me. “Please, wait for David!”
Suddenly, the door to the room opened, and a breathless David walked in. “It’s okay, I’m here,” he said, taking my hand. Relief washed over me as I felt his strong grip.
David and Martha supported and helped me as much as they could. Martha held my hand and reminded me to breathe while David stayed by my side, encouraging me.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, my daughter was born. It was the best and happiest moment of my life. Her first cry filled the room, and tears of joy streamed down my face.
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A few hours after the birth, Martha came to me. David was asleep in a chair, holding our daughter.
“I’m sorry for abandoning you and lying, but—” Martha began, her voice soft and filled with regret.
I interrupted her, “I don’t want to talk about this now. But we will discuss it later, and you will explain everything to me.”
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I didn’t want to spoil this day with unpleasant conversations. Martha nodded sadly and was about to leave the room.
“Can you bring me some cold juice? I didn’t get to drink it,” I asked her, trying to keep things light.
Martha smiled. “Of course,” she said and left the room. As I watched her go, I thought that now that I was a mother myself, maybe I could understand why she did what she did.
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If You Notice This While Brushing Your Teeth, It Could Be a Sign of Dementia
For the person suffering from dementia as well as the ones closest to them, it may be an extremely frightening disease. On the other hand, early detection of dementia symptoms might make everyone feel better prepared. More equipped to handle the ambiguity, emotional upheaval, or perplexity. Fortunately, Dr. Richard Restak’s book, How to Prevent Dementia, was released on October 17, 2023. Some early indicators of the condition are covered in the book. The physician reveals in the book that there are four main dementia early warning indicators. He refers to the symptoms of dementia as the “Four A’s” and describes how they might manifest in routine activities like brushing your teeth. He stated that the exterior manifestations and internal feelings of an Alzheimer’s patient are driven by four deficits.
1. Amnesia may be a sign of dementia
According to Dr. Restak, forgetfulness is a common aging process. Thus, it only warrants concern when it occurs frequently and involving items that ought to be commonplace. For instance, if you routinely lose track of details like your address, name, or family members’ names. He adds that while this is a typical aging symptom, it might not always indicate dementia.
2. Or aphasia
The term “aphasia” describes a problem of comprehension and communication. That is, a person’s capacity for speaking, writing, and reading could deteriorate. On a daily basis, this could appear to be someone who mispronounces a word or has forgotten what it means. Dr. Restak points out that this could not be a reliable indicator of dementia either. Why then include them? The solution is easy to understand. Diseases and people have a significant characteristic. Like diseases, we vary from case to case. No condition fits neatly into a box or checklist, and some symptoms may apply to some people but not to others. Rather, diseases and humans have certain characteristics that may fall into one category but not another. Consequently, even though these dementia symptoms might not apply to everyone, they can significantly help some people learn how to deal with and manage the condition.
3. Appropriate Indices of Dementia: Agnosia and Apraxia
One illness that affects the senses is anemia. It makes it impossible to identify well-known individuals or locations. This can be experienced by touch, taste, smell, sound, or sight. Among the instances are failing to identify a family member, house, or preferred destination for a Saturday excursion. Aphasia, on the other hand, is the final of the four symptoms of dementia and manifests itself when performing routine actions like brushing your teeth. Muscle function and strength are affected by the illness. Although apraxia can cause a person to forget to brush or even have difficulty holding the toothbrush, Dr. Restak cautions that the condition goes far deeper than that. When someone has apraxia, they frequently are unable to “tie all the actions together” or perform them in the right sequence. “An individual suffering from apraxia might be able to identify and even name a toothbrush and toothpaste, but they might not be able to perform the simple act of pressing toothpaste onto the toothbrush.” He composed. “All the muscle parts are there, but they are not able to work together.” Individuals in advanced phases could also find it difficult to take a shower or get dressed.Restak wrote in How to Prevent Dementia that “many, if not all, expressions of Alzheimer’s can be explained by reference to the four A’s.”
4. Alzheimer’s versus dementia
The title of the book is Dementia Prevention. Still, Dr. Restak makes several allusions to Alzheimer’s. This is due to the long-held belief that the two illnesses are very similar. While this is accurate, there are a few significant distinctions between the two, and it turns out that one frequently leads to the other. In general medicine, the term “dementia” refers to brain changes brought on by aging, illness, or trauma. the term used to describe a collection of symptoms that impair a person’s capacity to operate and carry out daily tasks. Conversely, Alzheimer’s is more common in the old and senior population and frequently results in dementia.
5. Having a Conversation with an Expert
It’s advised to get in touch with a medical expert right away if you believe someone you know is showing dementia symptoms. They will have a better understanding of your symptoms and be able to conduct tests that will help determine the exact cause. But the discussion may also be frightening, awkward, and emotionally charged. There are a few things one can do to facilitate a more seamless communication. First, make sure everything is quiet, peaceful, and devoid of distractions like the TV. After that, get ready for an emotional roller coaster. Just provide the facts, but do so in a kind and perceptive manner. Summarize the important points in brief phrases and words. Permit the other individual to finish speaking. It might also be advisable in some circumstances to enlist expert assistance. For example, you can probably get emotional support, resources, and sometimes even medical guidance about what’s ahead from a religious leader, a primary care physician, or a certified therapist. In any case, the first step to learning to live with and conquer the obstacles brought on by dementia is being aware of its symptoms.
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