My mother had a clear favorite her entire life, while I was raised by my grandparents mostly. When she got old and sick, I helped financially but refused to do more than that for a crucial reason.
While most good parents would tell you that they don’t have a favorite, my mother was not ashamed to tell me that my brother, Stanley, was her golden boy. My father walked out of our family because caring for two children became too much.
In the end, my mother blamed me for it. “He wouldn’t have left if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with you,” she told me one day. I was just a child at the time and only wanted my mother’s love.
“But that’s not my fault,” I replied. “I didn’t ask to be born.”
“Don’t talk back to me! I’m the parent, and you’re the kid, so shut up,” she finished. We would have similar conversations through the years whenever she was mad at me. Finally, my mother sent me to live with my paternal grandparents.
They felt so bad that our father had walked away from our lives that they took me in and gave me all the love I never received at home. That’s how I learned that the word family has lots of meanings.
All I heard about my mother and brother over the years was that she helped him with everything. He got into some trouble with the police, and my mother paid all his legal fees. Eventually, she had to sell her house and pay for his apartment.
Stanley was spoiled and couldn’t hold down a job, but my mother coddled him. Meanwhile, my grandparents didn’t have much money, but they gave me everything they could. I had to work to afford my college and my home.
I learned a whole ton of responsibility, and when I graduated, I got a pretty decent job. That’s where I met my husband, Lawrence. We had two daughters whom I cherished equally. When my grandparents got sick, I was there for them until the very end.
They gave me their house, and one of my daughters moved there when she got married. Unfortunately, my husband died shortly after her wedding. She asked me to live with her, but I wanted to stay in our home.
I didn’t hear from my brother or my mother for many years. They didn’t care about me at all, so why should I care about them? But one day, Stanley called. “Hello?” I answered the phone.
“Hey, Brooke. It’s Stanley. How are you?” my brother said through the other line.
“Oh, hey, Stanley. Long time, no speak. I’m fine. How about you?” I replied.
“Yeah, it’s been a while. Listen, I’m calling because Mom broke her hip. I need your help,” Stanley continued.
“Oh, that’s too bad. Is she ok?” I asked.
“She’s fine. It’s just that the hospital bill will be pretty expensive, and I need help paying for it. She’s our mother after all,” he explained.
“Oh, well. Ok. Give me the details, and I’ll send some money,” I told him. My husband and I had accumulated decent savings, so I could afford to send Stanley some money for whatever our mother needed.
“That’s great, Brooke. Thank you. I’ll talk to you later,” Stanley said and hung up. I didn’t feel any obligation to my mother, but I wasn’t heartless. I sent him the money and forgot about it until a week later when my brother called again.
“Hey, Brooke!” Stanley started.
“Hey. How did everything go?” I asked.
“The operation for her hip went well, but the doctor just told me she’s going to need tons of rehab and round-the-clock care. I was wondering when you could come to pick her up?” my brother asked.
“What do you mean pick her up?” I probed, confused.
“I told you. She needs someone to take care of her. I’ve been by her side our whole lives. It’s time you take responsibility, Brooke. I can’t watch her,” Stanley added.
“Excuse me? Responsibility? Mom sent me to live with our grandparents because she hated me, and you were her golden boy. She essentially abandoned me,” I snapped.
“Please. Stop the melodrama. You need to step up because she needs you. She gave you life. You owe her,” Stanley demanded.
“No. I don’t owe her anything. I needed my mother when I was growing up, and she refused. She gave all her love to you, so you will need to figure out something. I gave you money for her hospital bills out of the goodness of my heart, but I won’t be her caretaker,” I told him.
“YOU’RE HORRIBLE, BROOKE! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? I CAN’T WATCH HER!” Stanley started screaming through the phone.
“Honestly, I don’t care, Stanley. You don’t get to call me horrible. I was a kid when she abandoned me, and my grandparents became my REAL PARENTS. Don’t call me again!” I finished and hung up the call.
Stanley tried calling, texting, e-mailing, and more for several days, but I blocked him. He also tried contacting my daughters, but they refused to listen to him. They knew my history with that side of the family.
Of course, Stanley and my mother bad-mouthed me to anyone who would listen. I have been severely judged for my decision, but I didn’t listen to their criticism. After all, no one ever judged my mother for what she did to me.
What can we learn from this story?
- Caring for your loved ones is important. While Brooke’s choice is controversial, it’s easy to understand her point of view, given her background.
- Forgiveness is divine. Sometimes, you have to be the bigger person. Caring for your parents when they’re old is a big duty, both financially and emotionally. Someone has to do it.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a mother who left her disabled daughter at an orphanage.
Тhis Вridе Finishеd Knitting Неr Wеdding Drеss 4 Dаys Веfоrе Тhе Wеdding, Dосumеntеd Тhе Еntirе Рrосеss Аnd Shаrеd It Оnlinе
Weddings are some of the most beautiful celebrations one can experience in their life (usually). The deep connection between two lovers taking physical form in a ceremonious act for all to see is one that a lot of couples look forward to.
However, it also comes with months upon months of planning, stress, and even more planning. The one thing that a bride cannot go without—the special dress. Whether it be white, maroon, black, fluffy, frilly, or form-fitting, it must make the wearer feel likе the most beautiful woman in the whole entire world.
Some brides take the plunge of crafting their own dresses, be it for the challenge, for the love of the craft, or both. Today we delve into the story of Veronika Lindberg Heino, or Kika, who knitted her special gown for her big day in 6 weeks. She was kind enough to answer some of Bored Panda’s questions so let’s get into it!
Veronika Lindberg Heino, better known by her nickname Kika, decided to take up the challenge of knitting her own stunning wedding dress
Image credits: kutovakika
If you were given 2.5 kg of yarn and 250 hours, what would you create? Mayhaps a blanket, mayhaps a 3D portrait, or maybe a knitted wedding dress. Seeing as you clicked on this article for a very particular reason, you probably know by now that we’ll be speaking about the last option.
Opening herself to the challenge was Veronika Lindberg Heino, better known by her nickname Kika, who documented the birth of her special white dress, sharing the ups and downs with her followers on Instagram (which she started in 2017) and YouTube.
This project came about when she and her husband-to-be were both moving house and planning an impromptu wedding, making for a very stressful 7 weeks
Image credits: kutovakika
For what was already an intense project, life decided to add an extra bit of *spice*: they were moving house and planning their wedding, happening 7 weeks later, at the same time, so why not add in a project of great significance on top of it all? Unless you’re as skiIIed as Kika, I wouldn’t recommend it!
“I do love a challenge and I’m often a little bit over-ambitious, and the thought felt so wild and inspiring that I just decided to take the risk and do it,” the Finland-based knitter told Good Morning America (GMA). “I ordered 2.5 kg of pure silk yarn and announced my crazy plan on Instagram, and knew right then, there was no turning back anymore.”
She ordered 2.5 kg of pure silk yarn and announced her plans to her followers on Instagram, getting the project officially started with no way to turn back
Image credits: kutovakika
Kika based her design around Dior, Chanel, and Ulla Johnson’s dresses. She then sketched and planned the patterns. After all that, the knitting began!
Image credits: kutovakika
Nothing worth doing ever comes easy. It was a struggle finding time to knit in between moving, planning the wedding, and publishing her first book
Image credits: kutovakika
Instead of throwing Kika off balance, this added project seemed to have the opposite effect: it kept her grounded through the tumultuous time, at least for a while. Nothing worth doing comes easy, and this project was no exception, especially as she’d never knitted a dress before.
“The process was definitely intense, and the biggest struggle was to find enough time for knitting since we were in the process of moving and organizing the wedding at the same time,” said Kika. “Plus I published my first-ever knitting book, so it was definitely hectic. But, I also enjoyed it immensely and loved seeing my vision come to life in the process.”
Image credits: kutovakika
Then a big setback occured—her bodice was far too big, requiring her to rip it all up and start again. Her sleeves then kept slipping off, which took lots of time to fix
Image credits: kutovakika
Glaring issues started appearing about two weeks in when Kika had finished the bodice and tried it on for the first time—it was way too big. Disappointed, but not defeated, the bride-to-be ripped it all up, starting all over again, describing it as “a tough and frustrating moment where some tears were shed.”
One more issue came along with the slippy sleeves that kept on slipping, revealing a tad bit too much, which Kika found hilarious yet time-consuming to fix. “I made sure to film all my mistakes so I could be real and honest with my viewers, rather than only showing them the picture-perfect moments,” she told Insider.
Not having any other option (you typically can’t just go and buy a dress off the rack, as those require alterations, which take a long time), she kept moving forward until it was one week til the wedding. Encouraging messages from her followers kept her spirits up, the promise she’d made to the project at the very beginning providing her with a sense of accountability.
However, “the biggest motivator was definitely seeing for myself if I could pull my idea and vision off, and the thought of having the dress as a memory for life really kept me going, too.”
But all that didn’t deter her! Just 4 days before the big day, the dress was finished and Kika got to have a well-deserved rest
Image credits: kutovakika
Everything was done. She finished her dress on Tuesday, feeling more tired and frustrated than elated, but once she put it on for the ceremony, she couldn’t have been happier with the end result.
Kika got married to her husband Jukka Heino on Saturday, September 10, at their new home (which inspired the cottage-themed wedding tone), just 4 days after she’d finished her dress. Although her partner was a bit more skeptical about her last-minute knitting project, “in the end, he was super impressed and proud of me, and thought it looked really good too,” Kika said.
Image credits: kutovakika
Kika told Bored Panda that they’d met back in Spring of 2020, when she moved back home to Finland from London, as the pandemic put the world in lockdown. “Just a few months after moving back I met Juki and for our first date we walked around in Helsinki for hours since all cafés and bars were closed due to the restrictions,” she said.
“I was immediately drawn to his humor and often colorful stories of his adventures which made me laugh, and of course I found him really handsome. I think he was drawn to my enthusiasm, something we both have in common and my positive attitude towards life.”
She married Jukka Heino on Saturday, September 10, at their new home. Everyone loved her dress, praising her for all the effort she’d put into it
Image credits: kutovakika
“Over the course of the day, guests would come up to me and immediately feel the dress and comment on it. It sometimes felt likе they were more interested in the dress than in me, but I love talking about knitting, so I didn’t mind too much,” she told Insider.
The entire process demanded around 45 days, roughly 250 hours, and 1.5 kg of pure silk yarn, costing 300 euros, or around $295, which is a bargain when it comes to wedding dresses, which go for $1,800 on average. Her 149k followers on Instagram absolutely loved the journey, jumping in with suggestions and support any time she needed it.
The entire process demanded around 45 days, roughly 250 hours, and 1.5 kg of pure silk yarn, costing 300 euros, or around $295
Image credits: kutovakika
The 46-minute vlog of the whole journey posted on YouTube has garnered over 3.4M views, quickly becoming the highlight of her channel, which has over 253k subscribers that look forward to her knitting tutorials. “I’m absolutely amazed by all the positive attention the video and my dress has gotten, wow!” said Kika.
“I’ve received messages from people all over the world telling me I’ve inspired them to take up knitting again or to learn it, which makes me so glad. I’m also proud that I’ve maybe been able to push the boundaries and show what is possible using knitting.”
According to Kika, “knitting was actually done primarily by men at some point in history, so the fact that knitting nowadays is associated with something mostly feminine hasn’t always been the case.” Knitting is not just for grandmas, y’all!
The 46-minute vlog of the entire process garnered over 3.4M views on YouTube, inspiring hundreds of people to take up or go back to the craft
Image credits: kutovakika
What began as a bonding activity with her grandma when she was 5 years old has become a lifestyle, bringing together likе-minded people from all over the world. The one lesson she’d always kept was to be playful with the craft, rather than searching for perfection.
“With knitting there are a lot of ‘rules’ or principles that come with the territory which sometimes can make it feel likе you’re not doing things the right way,” she told Bored Panda. “My grandmother always encouraged me to make things without getting hung up on perfection, being creative and playful was more important.”
She hopes her followers and those who jumped on the bandwagon to see the final dress get inspired to embrace creative projects they might feel tempted to try—“even if it might feel a bit ambitious, I say go for it!”
We wish Kika and Jukka all the best for their future together and can’t wait to see what’s coming up for them next!
Image credits: kutovakika
A post-pandemic resurgence of knitting is a very welcome sight for many who are getting into arts and crafts for the first time or returning back to the familiar time-passing activity. Recent research shows that knitting has a measurable effect on calming anxiety, relieving stress, and aiding with chronic pain, as well as helping one build a community of friends. And you end up with a cute hat and mittens in the meantime!
“I think knitting as a craft teaches you a lot about patience and really makes you think about what kind of garments you most likе to wear,” Kika said. “When you’re going to spend 40-60 hours making a sweater, you really want to make sure it’s something that is going to stay in your wardrobe for a long time, which makes knitting a very sustainable practice, too.”
Honestly, what’s not to love!? We wish Kika and Jukka all the best for their future together and hope to see many more exciting knitting projects! Let us know your thoughts on the dress in the comments below, and I shall see you in the next one!
People have absolutely loved this project and the final dress. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
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