Actor Ali MacGraw sacrificed her own career for Steve McQueen

Ali MacGraw became a Hollywood superstar overnight. But just as quickly as she rose to fame, she disappeared from show business altogether.

Today, the 84-year-old actress has settled down in a remote and tiny town, and she’s aging gracefully with her grey hair.

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Ali MacGraw

Ali MacGraw – born Elizabeth Alice MacGraw – was born on April 1, 1939, in Pound Ridge, New York, USA. Her mother, Frances, was an artist and worked at a school in Paris, later settling in Greenwich Village. She married Richard MacGraw, who was also an artist. In 1939, Ali was born.

Ali’s father Richard supposedly had issues from his own childhood which made him a little bit different from others.

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He had survived a terrible childhood in an orphanage, running away at the age of 16 to go to sea. He would later study at an art school in Munich, Germany.

“Daddy was frightened and really, really angry. He never forgave his real parents for giving him up,” Ali explained, saying said her father’s adult life was spent “suppressing the rage that covered all his hurt.”

Ali MacGraw – childhood

Money was short for their family, too. Frances and Richard, together with Ali and her brother, Richard Jr, had to move into a house on a Pound Ridge wilderness preserve which they shared with an elderly couple.

“There were no doors; we shared the kitchen and bathroom with them,” Ali said. “It was utter lack of privacy. It was horrible.”

Mom Francis worked with several commercial-art assignments and supported the family. At the same time, Richard had a hard time selling his paintings, and as a result became very frustrated. Ali’s brother Richard became a victim for his anger at home.

“On good days he was great, but on bad days he was horrendous,” she recalled. “Daddy would beat my brother up, badly. I was witness to it, and it was terrible.”

Ali was the daughter of artists, and she knew that she, too, wanted to go into a creative line of work as she got older. She earned a scholarship at the prep school Rosemary Hall, and in 1956, she moved to study at Wellesley College in Massachusetts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CH_liCaHCCp/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=739463bc-eec9-4e98-a63d-87740718c7c7

By the age of 22, Ali MacGraw moved to New York and got her first job as an assistant editor at Harper’s Bazaar, working with photographers as an assistant.

Fashion work in New York

Fashion editor Diana Vreeland hired Ali as, what she recalls as, a “flunkie”. Ever seen the film The Devil Wears Prada? Well, it was pretty much that.

“It was ‘Girl! Get me a pencil!’,” MacGraw recalled.

The future Hollywood celebrity worked her job as an assistant for several months. Then, about six months in, fashion photographer Melvin Sokolsky noticed her beautiful looks, and Ali MacGraw was hired as a stylist,and given a better salary. She’d end up staying in that position for six years.

“I don’t know where she got this work ethic, but Ali would come in at eight a.m., and many times I’d come back at one in the morning and she would still be doing things for the next day,” Ruth Ansel, a former art director of Vanity Fair and Harper’s Bazaar recalls.

Ali was great as a stylist. But soon, she was asked to work in front of the cameras as a model. It didn’t take long before she was on magazine covers all over the world, even appearing in television commercials. For thing led to another, and Ali tumbled headfirst into the profession of acting.

Ali MacGraw
Youtube/MikelNavarro

She had been sketched nude by Salvador Dali a couple of years earlier. But when the surrealist artist started sucking her toes, MacGraw decided that she’d rather be an actress than a model.

Ali MacGraw – films

Ali went straight from an unknown stylist and into the world of cinema, and boy, did she do it with a bang.

She was untutored in the art of film, which gave her acting another dimension. Her natural beauty was stunning, and the audience loved her.

Following a small role in A Lovely Way to Die (1968), she was asked to star in the 1969 film Goodbye, Columbus. It turned out to be a great call, with MacGraw receiving a Golden Globe for Most Promising Newcomer – Female. The following year, she got her big international breakthrough with a role that would pretty much sum up her career.

Ali MacGraw had received a script from her agent. She’d read it and wept twice because of how much she loved it. She decided she really wanted a part in it, and got herself a meeting with the film’s producer Robert Evans – who at the time was Paramount Picture’s head of production – at the Beverly Hills Hotel’s Polo Lounge. Not only did Evans think she was perfect for the part in the movie Love Story, he absolutely fell in love with her.

MacGraw – playing the role of Jenny – acted alongside Ryan O’Neal in the movie Love Story. The American romantic drama film, in which Ali played a working-class college student, became a smash hit.

Ali MacGraw
Youtube/MikelNavarro

Love Story hit the cinemas in 1970, and wow did the audience cherish it. It became the No. 1 film in the United States, and at the time, it was the sixth highest grossing movie in history in the US and Canada.

Award-winning actress

MacGraw earned an Academy Award nomination for her role, and the film itself earned her another win and five Academy Award Nominations. She also won herself a second Golden Globe as Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama.

Film producer Robert Evans not only loved her on screen, he had fallen in love with her in real life, and that love was reciprocated. In 1969, the couple tied the knot, and two years later, they welcomed their son, Josh Evans.

Ali MacGraw was the hot new star of the 1970s, but her private life and marriage with Evans would soon come to an end. Steve McQueen had visited their home to ask her to star alongside him in The Getaway, and the two Hollywood stars clicked right away.

“I looked in those blue eyes, and my knees started knocking,” MacGraw recalled. “I became obsessed.”

Ali MacGraw
Youtube/MikelNavarro

MacGraw and McQueen had an affair, and she soon left Evans to live with the actor in Malibu, along with her son Josh.

“Steve was this very original, principled guy who didn’t seem to be part of the system, and I loved that,” she said.

Ali MacGraw – Steve McQueen

But after a while, Ali realized that Steve McQueen had his own problems. Following his father abandoning his mother, a then-14-year-old Steve was sent to a school for delinquent children. MacGraw said he never trusted women after that.

American actor Steve McQueen (1930 – 1980) with Ali MacGraw, circa 1972.
(Photo by Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images)

He didn’t like that she worked and had her own career. For a while, Ali stayed home to raise their sons. But her husband’s demands were something Ali simply couldn’t accept in the long run.

Not only that, but he’d explode if she even looked at another man. He also wanted her to sign a prenuptial agreement, promising not to ask for anything if they’d divorce. She abided by the agreement when they did divorce in 1978.

“I couldn’t even go to art class because Steve expected his ‘old lady’ to be there every night with dinner on the table,” she recalled.

“Steve’s idea of hot was not me. He liked blond bimbos, and they were always around.”

Steve McQueen and Ali McGraw in a scene from the 1972 movie “The Getaway.”

This was the start of a pretty dark time in MacGraw’s life. She arrived on set to shoot the 1978 film Convoy both drunk and high, which prompted her to quit drugs.

My DIL Spoiled My Long-Awaited Vacation — I Taught Her a Lesson in Respect

My DIL Spoiled My Long-Awaited Vacation — I Taught Her a Lesson in Respect

I thought I was a good mother-in-law and grandmother by availing myself to my son and daughter-in-law (DIL) as they needed. But I soon realized that I was getting the raw end of the deal when my DIL disrespected me. I had to take matters into my own hands to remedy the situation once and for all!

An exhausted woman sitting by a computer as her children play in the background | Source: Pexels

An exhausted woman sitting by a computer as her children play in the background | Source: Pexels

My tale is about learning to set boundaries, standing up for yourself, and demanding the respect you deserve. Maybe it’s also a little about internalizing societal expectations. So finally, after two years of working hard while babysitting my grandchildren for three hours daily, I was free for a bit!

When I wasn’t working and babysitting, I spent time suffering from excruciating backache and joint issues. I was worn out and completely exhausted so I had booked myself some time off. I was ready to take my well-deserved and much-needed vacation!

A woman sitting with a laptop | Source: Pexels

A woman sitting with a laptop | Source: Pexels

I had spoken to my son, George and my daughter-in-law (DIL), Sarah, way ahead of time about my plans. “Darlings, you are going to need to make babysitting plans for the next few weeks,” I told them. “What do you mean? Where will you be,” Sarah asked, unintentionally annoying me.

Now don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t annoying me because I was a mean mother-in-law (MIL) who hated her. But because of her selfish question. It seemed I was expected to always be around. “I am going on a vacation to the Bahamas. I already bought the tickets and booked myself at a lovely hotel.”

An older woman talking to a young couple | Source: Pexels

An older woman talking to a young couple | Source: Pexels

My son and DIL exchanged surprised looks before staring at me as if I’d grown a second head. “This is so unlike you, mom. Who are you going with?” I rolled my eyes at George’s response. He’d somehow forgotten that before he had kids, I was jetsetting every few months!

“That’s not true my love. I used to travel all the time when my time was mine,” I replied a bit irritated. I couldn’t believe how clueless he’d become when it came to my life. “Well, where are we going to get someone to babysit the kids for free every day?”

An older woman talking to a young couple | Source: Pexels

An older woman talking to a young couple | Source: Pexels

I realized at that moment that I’d spoiled these two. “Your parents are a start, Sarah. Arrange play dates with your friends’ children or something, I don’t know,” I said in frustration. Why was I the one who had to figure out what THEY did with their own children?

It dawned on me how much I had made them dependent on me. It wasn’t my intention, I think I took the Gam-Gam role a bit too far, and I so loved my little munchkins! They gave me so much to live for. But I was tired and needed a break.

A happy woman in the kitchen with her grandchild | Source: Pexels

A happy woman in the kitchen with her grandchild | Source: Pexels

Without waiting for their response, which I anticipated would make me angry, I turned to leave. “I will send you the details of when I leave, where I’ll be staying, and when I’ll return. Toodles!” I heard them falling over themselves as they tried to catch up to my quick stride.

They were LITERALLY trying to get ME to tell THEM what to do with their children! But I was having none of it and quickly closed the door before rushing to my car and driving away. Yes, I felt like I was escaping and running away from my responsibilities and I HATED that feeling!

A woman driving | Source: Pexels

A woman driving | Source: Pexels

When I arrived home, my DIL had left several voice messages that I had no intention of listening to. My therapist was the one who made me realize I was overworked and needed some time off. I was oblivious to that as I continued stretching myself to my limits.

She, my therapist, knocked it into my head that I was overcompensating by trying to be the best MIL and grandmother while losing myself. I stuck to my promise and sent George and Sarah all the details of my travels as a courtesy.

A therapist taking notes while talking to a client | Source: Pexels

A therapist taking notes while talking to a client | Source: Pexels

The next few weeks were filled with Sarah trying to convince me to leave with the kids. When she wasn’t trying to do that, she tried to get me to stay and not leave. “I need to do this for ME, Sarah. You won’t understand,” I explained, trying to get her off my back.

If my DIL wasn’t the one pestering me, my son got in on it. But with the words of my therapist playing in my head, “Stick to your guns. You are doing this for YOUR well-being,” I remained resolute in my decision.

A younger woman negotiating something with an older one | Source: Pexels

A younger woman negotiating something with an older one | Source: Pexels

When the fateful day came, I announced my departure to my son and left. For two glorious days on vacation, I had nothing but massages, long beach walks, drank piña coladas, and enjoyed the sunsets!

On the third day, my mood was spoiled when I suddenly received a disturbing message from my DIL. “George is on his business trip, my parents have house repairs, and I’m going on MY retreat,” her text began.

Unhappy-looking woman looking at her phone | Source: Pexels

Unhappy-looking woman looking at her phone | Source: Pexels

“And you know what? It’s in the Bahamas!! Isn’t it amazing? We’re already boarding, I need you to watch the kiddos!” Annoyed is an understatement for what I was feeling! I couldn’t understand, so HER parents have repairs, and I have a vacation, so I can babysit the kids?!

I was MAD AS HELL! I was practically seething! This time I leaned on my own faculties and decided to teach her a lesson on mutual respect. When they pitched, I was my usual affectionate self to my grandbabies and hugged and kissed them.

A woman bonding with her grandchildren | Source: Pexels

A woman bonding with her grandchildren | Source: Pexels

I then spent an hour bonding with the pair while Sarah mumbled about how SHE had to MEDITATE tomorrow. But the next day, I got an irritated call from her. “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHERE ARE YOU?!” she had the nerve to demand.

All calm and relaxed as I had anticipated that type of response, I answered, “I’m at the spa, getting a massage. Why do you ask?” Sounding more frustrated, my DIL replied, “Why would you not answer your phone?!”

A frustrated woman talking on the phone with her baby lying in a cot behind her | Source: Freepik

A frustrated woman talking on the phone with her baby lying in a cot behind her | Source: Freepik

“The kids have been driving ME crazy, and I need a break!” I had finally had enough of her nonsense and took a deep breath before responding. “I hear you talking about what YOU need and want, but have you asked ME what my plans are?”

“Has it even occurred to YOU to find out if I WANT to babysit during MY vacation and time away?” I heard her gasp as she tried cutting in all respectful this time, saying, “Mrs. Thomas, I…” But I cut her off and continued my rant.

A frustrated woman talking on the phone | Source: Pexels

A frustrated woman talking on the phone | Source: Pexels

“Do you know what I am doing here, huh? Do you even CARE?” My voice went up a notch. “You receive what you deserve, Sarah. And maybe it’s time for YOU and George to learn a lesson about respect!”

My DIL was stunned into silence. She realized for the first time in two years the depth of her imposition. Her voice had softened as she stammered, “I… I didn’t think… I just assumed…”

A woman talking on a phone in a bathroom | Source: Pexels

A woman talking on a phone in a bathroom | Source: Pexels

I wasn’t done with her as I replied, “That’s exactly the problem we have, you assumed and KEEP assuming. I love my grandkids, but I also NEED my own time.”

“This was MY vacation. It’s time I took off so I can recuperate and have some self-care.” I could hear from the silence on the other side that Sarah was feeling guilty. She was FINALLY understanding where I was coming from.

An upset woman talking on the phone | Source: Freepik

An upset woman talking on the phone | Source: Freepik

“I’ve given you and Georgie two long years of my love and dedication.” I shared how I’d stretched myself because I wanted to be a good MIL and grandmother. I also wanted to be there for them as they transitioned into parenthood.

But then I went too far as they kept demanding more and more of my time. I confessed to my DIL that I started feeling burnt out. Yet, because I hadn’t felt the feeling before, I didn’t realize what was happening to me.

A frustrated woman talking on the phone | Source: Freepik

A frustrated woman talking on the phone | Source: Freepik

A friend I confided in suggested I see her therapist. That’s when it finally clicked that I was wearing myself thin. I was quite upset as I ended my rant by stating, “Next time, respect MY plans and ask, don’t just assume I’m here to serve your convenience!”

Sarah paused for a long time on the other end of the line and I was about to say something when she finally sighed. It appeared she finally understood the weight of my words and where I was coming from.

Two women conversation | Source: Pexels

Two women conversation | Source: Pexels

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have asked. I’ll make other arrangements,” my DIL replied, sounding defeated. I won’t lie, I felt a tinge of regret for how I approached things, but decided it was something that had to be done.

After all, as they say, people treat the way you teach them to. I thanked her for understanding. “Now, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my vacation. I suggest you find a way to enjoy yours too, without relying on me.”

A woman playing with her children | Source: Pexels

A woman playing with her children | Source: Pexels

I didn’t wait for a response before hanging up and felt the most serene wave of satisfaction! I had stood up for myself and drew boundaries that taught my DIL a valuable life lesson! I happily returned to my massage, content that I would not be disturbed anymore.

I felt the stress melt away from my body as the masseuse kneaded longstanding knots that had built up over the years. I was pleased to know that I had managed to reclaim my well-deserved break.

A relaxed woman getting a massage | Source: Pexels

A relaxed woman getting a massage | Source: Pexels

Unfortunately, Mrs. Thomas isn’t the only person who’s had to take measures to teach people important lessons. Mark’s mother kept nagging his pregnant wife to the point that the younger woman had to leave. Not wanting his mother to miss her mistake, Mark found a clever way to teach the parent about respect and boundaries.

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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