Mum, Dad, my brother Michael: everyone in the family got more affection from our ridgeback-staffie cross. And guess whose bed she used to poo on…
I think the tone was set when Ella threw up over me on the way back from the Dogs Trust. She was three months old, rolling around on the back seat between me and my twin brother, Michael (we’d just turned seven), and wasn’t enjoying her first trip in a car. She could have been sick anywhere – over the seat, over the floor – but for some reason she decided to climb on to me first.
It was the start of a beautiful but strangely one-sided friendship. Ella, a ridgeback-staffie cross, was the perfect dog: playful, energetic, naughty and tolerant. She would let us poke and prod her without complaint, turn her ears inside-out or dress her up in T-shirts or the thick woollen poncho my Greek Cypriot grandma knitted her for the British winter. And she was endlessly loving, at least to the other members of the family. Me? Too often it was as if I didn’t exist. If Michael and I were sitting on the sofa, she’d bound up to him. If I came home after a day out with my dad, he was the one she’d jump at. If I tried to take her for a walk by myself, she’d drag her feet and insist that I fetch my brother.
To add insult to injury, about once a year she would do a poo in the house. Not just anywhere, though: she’d climb the stairs to my room and leave it in a neat pile on top of my bed.
I can’t pretend I wasn’t offended by Ella’s attitude – I loved her just as much as anyone. But it took me a while to realise that in her eyes we were both bitches fighting for our place in the pack. I read that dogs are 98.8% wolf, even yappy little chihuahuas. Ella was a definite she-wolf and my mother (she who opened the tin of dog food every night) was the undisputed alpha female. Ella could handle that fact, but she didn’t want to be the omega female. That was me.
Working out the reasons for Ella’s lack of sisterhood, understanding that her indifference was atavistic and not just casual, didn’t make me any less jealous of my brother, who always took great pleasure in the fact that Ella seemed to prefer him. But I resigned myself to the situation. And then one day (happy ending, anyone?) everything changed. I must have been 16 or 17, we’d been away for a fortnight in France, and when we got back it was me she ran up to first, whining and twisting with pleasure at seeing me again. After that it was like all those years of competition had never happened. We were best friends for ever, or at least for the couple of years she had left. Ella finally loved me.
Bike thief temporarily thwarted by a lovable Golden Retriever being a terrible guard dog
The dog couldn’t care less that his owner was being robbed—he just wanted the thief to rub his belly.
People get dogs to be loving members of their families, but sometimes dogs have a second role—to guard the house. But not all dogs are made for guarding anything other than their favorite stuffed animal. Some dogs are too small to scare anyone away and some dogs will just lick intruders to death.
A Golden Retriever in San Diego just proved to his owners that he is definitely in the latter group. The shaggy dog caught a stranger stealing his owner’s $1,300, 2019 Electra 3-speed bicycle out of the family’s garage redhanded. But instead of barking to alert his humans or attempting to scare the bike thief, he happily asked for belly rubs.
If you thought the bike bandit was going to ignore the wagging tail and sweet doggy requests, then you’d be wrong. Now would be the perfect time to explain how the friendly dog stopped the robbery in its tracks.
“You’re so cool, come here! You’re the coolest dog I’ve ever known,” the thief tells the dog as he rubs his face. “I love you, too. Come here. You’re a sweetheart. I want you to come home with me.
Just a full-on, audible doggy-human love fest going on in the garage while the dog’s owner is none the wiser. The dog wasn’t working to distract the bike thief; he was there for his own personal gain, getting head scratches and belly rubs from all who enter the open garage. And while the dog momentarily thwarted the burglar, he didn’t prevent him from stealing the bike.
The man and the bike are now nowhere to be found, and there’s probably a sneaking suspicion that the family’s golden retriever wouldn’t alert anyone if the guy came back. A home surveillance camera caught the entire encounter, which was uploaded to TikTok where it has over 2.5 million views.
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