I’m a full-time mom. About a year ago, I left my job to take care of our three-year-old daughter, who is autistic and requires a lot of support. Lately, I’ve noticed that my usually feminist husband has been criticizing me in a group chat.
Transitioning into the role of a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) wasn’t something I had envisioned for myself. I used to thrive in the fast-paced world of marketing, surrounded by campaigns and fueled by brainstorming sessions over coffee. But all that changed a little over a year ago when my husband, Jake, and I made a significant decision. Our daughter, Lily, who is three and autistic, needed more attention than what her daycare could provide. Her needs are complex, requiring constant care and support, and it became clear that one of us had to be with her full-time.
I won’t sugarcoat it — leaving my career behind was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made. I miss the freedom of earning my own income and the satisfaction of a job well done. But here I am now, spending my days planning meals, cooking, and baking. I’ve found joy in these tasks, and experimenting in the kitchen has become my new creative outlet.
Our backyard has turned into a small garden oasis under my care, and I take care of most of the household chores. Jake does his fair share too; he’s actively involved in chores and parenting whenever he’s at home. We’ve always considered ourselves equals, rejecting traditional gender roles, or so I thought until last week.
It was a regular Thursday, and I was tidying up Jake’s home office while he was at work. It’s filled with tech gadgets and piles of paperwork, typical for someone in software development. His computer screen caught my eye — it was still on, casting a soft glow in the dim room. He usually left it on by accident, but what I saw next wasn’t accidental at all.
His Twitter feed was open, and I froze when I saw the hashtag #tradwife attached to a tweet. Confusion washed over me as I read the post. It glorified the joys of having a traditional wife who embraces her domestic duties. Attached was a photo of me, taking a batch of cookies out of the oven, looking every bit like a 1950s housewife. My stomach churned as I scrolled through more posts. There I was again, tending to the garden and reading to Lily, our faces thankfully obscured.
This was Jake’s account, and he had been crafting a whole narrative about our life that was far from reality. He portrayed me as a woman who relished her role as a homemaker, willingly sacrificing her career for aprons and storybooks. The truth of our situation — that this arrangement was a necessity for our daughter’s well-being — was nowhere to be seen.
I felt betrayed. Here was the man I’d loved and trusted for over a decade, sharing our life with strangers under a false pretense that felt foreign to me. It wasn’t just the lies about our relationship dynamics that hurt — it was also the realization that he was using these glimpses of our life to bolster some online persona.
I shut the computer down, my hands trembling with a mix of anger and bewilderment. All day, I grappled with my emotions, trying to comprehend why Jake would do this. Was he dissatisfied with our situation? Did he resent my decision to stay home? Or was it something deeper, a shift in how he perceived me now that I wasn’t contributing financially?
The rest of the day passed in a blur. His posts kept replaying in my mind, and eventually, I couldn’t ignore them any longer. I decided to call him and address everything head-on.
“Jake, we need to talk,” I finally said, trying to keep my voice steady.
He answered, sounding concerned. “What’s wrong?”
I took a deep breath, the weight of my discovery weighing heavily on me. “I saw your Twitter today…”
His expression fell, and he let out a long sigh, indicating he knew exactly what this conversation was about to entail. He started to respond, but I interrupted him.
“Calm down,” he said, dismissing it as “just harmless posting.” That was the final straw. I told him I wanted a divorce, called him out for his deceit, and ended the call.
Jake rushed home immediately. We argued, but with Lily’s strict schedule, I couldn’t let the conflict drag on. He pleaded with me to have a proper conversation after putting Lily to bed. Reluctantly, I agreed. That night, he showed me his phone, revealing that he had deleted the Twitter account. But the damage was already done.
A week passed, and my anger hadn’t subsided. This wasn’t a simple misunderstanding. It was a breach of trust. Jake attempted to explain, claiming it started as a joke, but he got carried away with the attention it garnered. But excuses weren’t enough.
Motivated by a mix of hurt and the need for justice, I decided to expose him. I took screenshots of his tweets and shared them on my Facebook page. I wanted our friends and family to know the truth. My post was straightforward: “Your husband belittles you in front of his friends behind your back. Sound familiar?”
The response was immediate. Our relatives were shocked, and the comments poured in. Jake was inundated with messages and calls. He left work early once more to beg for my forgiveness. He knelt, tears in his eyes, pleading that it was all just a “silly game.”
But I couldn’t let it go. The trust that bound us together was broken. It wasn’t just about a few misguided posts; it was about the respect and understanding we were supposed to have for each other. I told him I needed time and space to think and heal. I moved out with Lily to another apartment.
For six months, Jake begged for forgiveness. He sent messages, left voicemails, and made small gestures to show he was sorry. But sorry wasn’t enough. I told him that if he truly wanted to make amends, we needed to start anew. In my eyes, we were strangers now, and he had to court me like he did years ago when we first met.
So, we began again, slowly. We went on dates, starting with coffee and progressing to dinners. We talked a lot — about everything except the past. It was like rediscovering ourselves individually and as a couple. Jake was patient, perhaps realizing this was his last chance to salvage our once-loving relationship.
As I sit here now, reflecting on the past year, I realize how much I’ve changed. This betrayal forced me to reevaluate not only my marriage but also myself and my needs. I’ve learned that forgiveness isn’t just about accepting an apology; it’s about feeling secure and valued again. It’s a gradual process, one that we’re both committed to, step by step.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Share your thoughts on Facebook.
The Volume Buttons On Your Iphone Has Many Hidden Functions
Any device’s full potential may often be unlocked by having a keen eye for the hidden gems beneath the surface; the iPhone’s hidden functions are no different.
Your iPhone has many hidden treasures that are just waiting to be discovered, from iMessage features to brighten every conversation to generation-specific features that maximize the technology in any particular iPhone.
A set of volume buttons is a characteristic that is common to all iPhone models. Unlike many Android phones, which only have one volume button, the iPhone has featured two different volume buttons since its original release.
The two buttons on the left side of the iPhone are used for functions other than volume control.
Like so many other locations, the phone’s buttons can be utilized for non-volume operations in addition to a few useful chores that can be accessed with their assistance.
Whether you’re a photography enthusiast seeking tactile finesse, a safety-conscious person needing quick access to emergency services, or someone who longs to have a physical snooze button again, the iPhone’s volume buttons offer a range of interactions that go far beyond their seemingly straightforward purpose.
When you make an SOS call, your phone notifies your approved emergency contacts of your location and the circumstances using the information you provide in the Medical ID section of the Health app.
With regard to Medical ID, users can store their emergency contacts, allergies, critical medical information, and other details in this function.
In an emergency, anyone can access this information. Even if your phone is locked, the Medical ID is still accessible for first responders’ use.
Switching off the power and more
Beyond emergency services, another important feature of the iPhone could be accessed by briefly depressing the side and volume down keys.
The menu that offers access to Medical ID and the emergency call slider is where you’ll find the power-off slider. Turning off the iPhone is done by using the designated slider.
Users may also use this screen to disable the Find My function on their phone when it is in sleep mode. Just below the power-off slider, there’s a popup to turn off Find My.
Find My Device will no longer work if the device’s setting is disabled through the power off menu; you will need to restart it and enter the passcode again to locate it.
This control layer significantly improves device security by granting users control over their location data even when their phone is off.
However, this feature is more intricate than it seems. Using the volume buttons to access the power-off menu has a security risk. The power off slider displays, briefly deactivating the Face ID and Touch ID functions.
This ensures the gadget can’t be turned off and prevents someone else from being able to forcibly access it when locked.
controls for the camera
Contemporary smartphones are renowned for their capacity to swiftly and effortlessly capture moments, with the iPhone outperforming rival flagship devices in terms of camera capability.
One of the more widely known features of smartphone camera apps is the ability to use volume controls.
While some Android devices allow users to zoom in, the primary purpose of the volume keys on the iPhone is to capture images.
Instead of fumbling with the on-screen shutter button, users may snap instant images by simply pushing the volume up or down button.
This small function mimics the feel of a traditional camera, offering a cozy, tactile experience that some users might find more acceptable.
Moreover, this feature is not limited to shooting photos. To start recording a video, you can also utilize the camera app’s volume buttons.
Because it provides users with control and stability during the process, allowing them to grasp onto the device steadily and capture dynamic footage, this function is very handy for recording video material.
A video recorder’s volume buttons are helpful for purposes other than merely starting a recording. If the iPhone’s camera app is still set up to capture images, you can use either volume button to begin a quick shot movie.
Users merely need to release the button to stop recording. You may also press and hold the volume up button to switch it to “Photo Burst” in the Settings app.
The Notes app’s document scanning feature and the Camera app both utilize the volume buttons for taking photos.
When scanning a document into the iPhone, users do not have to wait for the device to properly frame the document. As an alternative, you can snap a picture of anything that’s visible in the scanner’s viewfinder by pressing either volume button.
With enough time and work, such scans can be edited to appear as precise as what the iPhone can accomplish automatically.
Alarm mechanisms
It can be a surprising habit to turn off the alarm in the morning. Apple has given its users the chance to go back in time to a simpler time when they are trying to snooze their alarm in the morning.
You can immediately stop the alarm when it goes off by using the volume up or down button. This will spare you the trouble of looking for the on-screen button and give you some alone time while you get ready for the day. This method of using the volume controls also applies to vibrating, quiet alarms.
Using the volume buttons to snooze occasionally proves to be more convenient than reaching for the snooze or smaller dismiss button first thing in the morning.
Similar to the snooze button, the volume buttons are likewise simpler to reach in the early morning mist.
Slapping the enormous snooze button on an equally gigantic alarm clock radio combo doesn’t exactly feel the same.
Remember that you must first ensure that snoozing is enabled before using the volume buttons to snooze an alarm.
If the snooze setting is not enabled for an alarm, the volume buttons will simply refuse it. The alarm is programmed to sound again at the next specified time.
Turning off phone calls and locating my
Picture this: a quiet moment or a crucial meeting cut short by a ringing phone. It doesn’t happen very infrequently. It’s simple to periodically forget to switch off your phone or even to switch it back on by accident.
The volume buttons on your iPhone soon create a barrier between you and anyone close and the ringtone you’ve selected when you receive one of these unpleasant robocalls. In far harsher situations, you can use the power button to reject or end a call.
The ringing phone can be muffled with a single press of either volume button. Using the volume button to end an unwanted call makes sense.
Controlling Find My notifications on the iPhone also heavily relies on the volume buttons.
The iPhone uses new buttons to secure your relationships and belongings in a world where those things are vital.
The position of your second Apple device can be found by pressing either volume button quickly to quickly muffle the otherwise loud warning when something close sends out a Find My notification.
As a result, receiving notifications is more manageable.
App features
Despite Apple’s best efforts to stop it, iPhone volume buttons can be utilized as tools for other app interactions.
the inventive usage of volume buttons in non-Apple apps—a feature that is usually free from Apple’s stringent constraints despite its usability.
By using this repurposing, a number of software developers have provided users with instantaneous shortcuts or actions, providing a haptic and seamless alternative to traditional on-screen taps.
One particularly straightforward approach is to utilize a counter app that allows users to tick up or down dependent on whether they use the volume up or down button.
However, employing volume buttons in non-Apple apps is a technique that should be utilized cautiously due to Apple’s app development constraints.
Maintaining a consistent user interface and preventing hardware control abuse—which can possibly mislead users or obstruct normal interactions—are given top attention in these standards.
Apple usually forbids developers from altering the functionality of hardware buttons in their apps as a result.
While some programs are able to effectively integrate volume button functionality while adhering to Apple’s standards, these instances are still quite uncommon due to the challenges these constraints pose.
Not only can developers not modify the behavior of the volume buttons, but users are also not allowed to use the volume buttons to run commands that were developed within the Shortcuts app.
But not everyone has been deterred by that. The volume buttons on your phone can theoretically be used to create shortcuts, but doing so involves using a complicated workaround function that connects an action to the volume.
Restart with force
At some time, everyone has either attempted or heard the sage advise to simply turn their device on and off again. Using the volume buttons to force an iPhone reset is a quick and simple solution in many cases.
When the device becomes unresponsive, sluggish, or has software problems, this can function as a reset to help restore it to a better state.
Users can force a restart by simultaneously pushing and holding the side button, the volume up and down buttons, and the volume down button.
The volume buttons here can be used to reach the shut-down menu, but the iPhone can also be turned off without the need for a slider by holding down the side button.
After turning off their phone, users still need to push and hold the side button down until they see the Apple logo on the screen.
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