This time, we sent an air fryer to our youngest granddaughter, the cheapest thing on her registry. Eloise called us, livid, accusing us of being cheap. I remember picking up her call and she didn’t even say hi, she just started ranting, “Seriously, Grandma? I just got your gift. An air fryer? That’s the cheapest thing you could find on my registry!”
I was taken aback because as much as the air fryer was the cheapest on their registry, I still thought it’d be useful to them, so I told her that. Eloise kept on complaining, “Useful? Come on, you know you can do better than that. Everyone knows you have the money. I just can’t believe you’d be this cheap with me. It’s embarrassing.”
In this heated moment, I told her, “Yes, you’re right. We are cheap, old, and useless. The only thing you DIDN’T know is that the day before the wedding, we were going to gift you a check for $40,000.”
I revealed this in an attempt to explain to Eloise about the cash gift we usually give our grandkids before the wedding but she was so angry at this point, that she wasn’t listening to a thing I said. I speculated that maybe she didn’t believe we would gift her such an amount of money after only buying her an air fryer.
Eventually, she said, “No, it’s clear. You just don’t love me enough to show it. You know how much pressure I’m under with the wedding. And then, this? It’s like you don’t even care,” then she hung up.
Despite my husband and I’s shock at Eloise’s reaction, we then bought her a China set, hoping to appease her, but decided against giving her the $40,000, feeling she hadn’t earned it.
Fast forward to last week. Eloise talked to her brother and found out that we were telling her the truth about the money. After confirming it with her cousins, she, called again, accusing us of discrimination, “I just found out that it’s true you gave the money to everyone else when they got married. Why didn’t I get anything?”
We stood firm, explaining our stance was due to her initial reaction, “We felt after your reaction to the wedding gift, it wasn’t right to go ahead and gift you the money.” Eloise pleaded trying to convince us otherwise, “So, you’re punishing me? Is that it? Because I was upset about an air fryer?”
I was angry that she didn’t even understand what she did wrong. “It wasn’t about the air fryer, Eloise. It was how you spoke to us, the disrespect. That’s not something we expected or can support,” I explained.
Eloise implored us, nearly in tears, “But that’s so unfair! I was stressed, Grandma. Planning a wedding is hard, and I just snapped. I didn’t mean any of it.” I felt like she should have only apologized to us instead of finding excuses to justify her behavior.
However, I told her, “We understand that it’s a stressful time, but actions and words have consequences. We hoped you’d understand the value of family and love over material things.” Full of desperation, Eloise added, “But you don’t understand! Can’t we just forget all this happened? I need that money, Grandma.”
She pleaded, threatened to boycott Christmas, and accused us of cutting her off but we didn’t budge. In the end, I expressed, “We love you very much. This has nothing to do with cutting you off. We just hope you’ll reflect on this and understand why we made our decision.”
Now, Eloise has followed up on her threat and she’s boycotting Christmas. Her mother, who is our daughter-in-law, is siding with her, calling us unreasonable. However, we feel that after all we have done for Eloise, the air fryer gift, shouldn’t have triggered this reaction.
For context, we had already paid for her college, and her parents covered her graduate school and half the wedding. Additionally, she and her husband are financially comfortable and do not desperately need our money.
We’re also not upset with our grandkids for revealing the cash gift since she is among the group of family members who are allowed to know about it. Our reason for sending the air fryer earlier was that we live far away, so we always send our gifts early.
The wedding gift is also separate from the money, which we give with the hope it will be used for something significant, like a home. Now, we feel like the action we took towards Eloise was well deserved and we are not going back on our decisions even if she and her mom threaten to do their worst.
Despite the tumultuous events and Eloise’s refusal to understand our perspective, my husband and I stand by our decision. Love and respect in our family are paramount, and we hoped this situation would be a learning experience for her.
The holidays might be quieter this year with her family’s absence, but our hope is for healing and understanding in the future. Our door and hearts remain open to Eloise, whenever she’s ready to mend fences.
Want more like this? Click here to read about a grandmother who sparked controversy online because she doesn’t bring her grandchildren gifts when she visits.
25 Years Later They Laugh At Critics Who Said Marriage Wouldn’t Last
There are many people who get married despite the fact that critics may doubt their ability to stay married for the long term. This often happens when we get married quickly or perhaps we are young and people don’t think we are yet responsible enough for the bond.
In 1995, there was a young couple who also were doubted but they ended up getting married and they stayed married for 25 years. They also were the first couple with Down syndrome in the UK to become husband and wife.
These days, we hear about people who have Down syndrome getting married on a regular basis. At that time, however, it was unheard of and it was the first time in the world that a couple with Down syndrome said I do.
Just like any other disability, however, those with Down syndrome have the ability to beat the odds, and certainly, that is what Tommy and Maryanne Pilling did. In fact, they are an inspiration to many who wonder if they have what it takes.
Maryanne was born in 1971. Her mother, Linda Martin, provided her with a loving atmosphere at home and she also had a sister who loved her as well. There were still times, however, when she struggled in life and she was even rejected by her father.
Since she was raised in a loving household, however, she grew up to be a very loving woman. It was easy to see in her lively personality.
Tommy was born in 1958 and was an only child. When he was 12 years old, he became an orphan and he grew up in a care home in Essex. He did have delayed development because of a lack of a support system, and he didn’t care much for his physical appearance.
When the two of them met in 1990, they were working in a kitchen in a training home for disabled individuals. He was 32 and she was 19 at the time.
It was easy to see how Maryanne felt about Tommy because she would absolutely light up when she spoke about him. They shared a number of common interests, such as music, cooking, movies, and doing craftwork.
Tommy also loved Elvis Pressley and the two of them would dance together on a regular basis. He would also let her know how much he loved her, and eventually, the family got accustomed to having him around.
18 months after they started dating, he proposed to her and asked her mother for permission to marry her daughter. The mother didn’t hesitate, she gave her blessings right away.
Other people, however, were not quite so positive about the idea of the two of them getting married. Some said that she wasn’t ready for it and some even asked about their sex life.
Despite the fact that they were criticized openly, they got married in 1995. 250 people came to the wedding, which was a fairytale for them.
They lived together with her family for seven years before moving into their own apartment next door. Her sister also moved along with them.
They have a very strong bond because he listens carefully when she speaks. There is never any type of hidden agenda and they love each other with their whole hearts.
Unfortunately, Tommy was hospitalized in 2020 after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and then got COVID. Due to his declining health, he passed away. That was on January 1, 2021.
When the news was broken to her, she seemed to understand but still was a little confused about the situation. We are just glad that they had almost 30 years together, and they loved each other till the end.
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