Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
I Kicked Out My Grandparents, Who Raised Me, From My Graduation — Karma Quickly Taught Me a Lesson
My name is Sarah, and my story began with a tragedy. When I was two, my mom died in a car accident, and my dad left us. My grandparents took me in. They became my whole world. They loved and supported me through everything. Thanks to them, I just graduated from high school and got into a great college.
Graduation day was supposed to be perfect. I couldn’t wait for my grandparents to see me get my diploma. I was so excited.
Graduation party | Source: Pexels
“This is for you, Grandma and Grandpa,” I thought as I put on my cap and gown. I couldn’t wait to see my grandparents’ proud faces when I walked across the stage. They had given me everything.
Suddenly, I heard someone call my name. “Sarah?”
I turned around and saw a man I didn’t recognize. He had a kind face but looked a bit worn out. “Yes, that’s me,” I said cautiously.
Man with blue eyes looks at the camera | Source: Pexels
He smiled, his eyes sad. “It’s me, your father.”
I felt my breath catch. “My father? No, my father left me when I was two.”
His face fell. “No, that’s not true. I’ve been looking for you all these years. Your grandparents hid you from me.” The man opened his wallet and showed me my childhood photo with a young man I knew as my father. This was the only photo of him I’ve ever seen.
Young man with his small daughter | Source: Pexels
My mind spun. “What? They said you abandoned me.”
He pulled out his phone and showed me text messages. Angry, hurtful words from my grandmother. “They told me to stay away, Sarah. They never wanted me around.”
Tears filled my eyes. Could this be true? My grandparents had lied to me?
“Why would they do that?” I whispered, feeling a mix of anger and confusion.
Shocked Sarah looks at her father | Source: Midjourney
“I don’t know, Sarah. But I’m here now. I’ve always wanted to be part of your life,” he said softly.
I saw my grandparents sitting in the audience, smiling and waving at me. My emotions were in turmoil. I couldn’t believe they had lied to me for so long. I marched over to them, anger boiling inside me.
“Leave,” I said loudly, my voice trembling with rage.
Sarah shouts at her grandparents | Source: Midjourney
Grandma’s smile faded. “Sarah, what’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears.
“Leave now!” I shouted, my voice echoing in the hall. People turned to look.
Grandpa stood up slowly, his face pale. “Sarah, please, talk to us. What’s happening?”
“You lied to me! You kept my father away from me all these years. Just go!” I insisted.
Angry but determined Sarah | Source: Midjourney
My father approached me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Thank you, Sarah. I know this is hard.”
“Why did they lie?” I asked, tears streaming down my face.
“I don’t know, but we can talk about it,” he said gently. “Let’s get through today first.”
Later, I sat across from my father in a quiet corner of the cafe, my coffee growing cold in front of me. I studied him, trying to reconcile the man before me with the stories my grandparents had told.
Coffee cup in a cafe | Source: Pexels
“So,” I began, my voice trembling slightly, “tell me everything. Start from the beginning.”
He sighed and took a sip of his coffee. “It’s a long story, Sarah. But you deserve to know the truth.”
He paused, collecting his thoughts. “When your mother and I first got together, everything was great. We were young and in love. But your grandparents never liked me. They thought I wasn’t good enough for her.”
Sarah’s father | Source: Midjourney
“What do you mean?” I asked, my eyes searching his face for honesty.
“They were always judging me,” he continued, shaking his head. “Your grandfather thought I was a loser because I didn’t have a fancy job. They wanted your mom to marry someone else. When you were born, it got worse.”
My heart ached. “Why didn’t you come back? Why didn’t you try to find me sooner?”
Sad Sarah talks to her father | Source: Midjourney
Silently, he pulled out his phone and showed me old text messages from Grandma. They were filled with anger and demands to stay away.
My hands shook as I read them. “I can’t believe they would do this.”
“They thought they were protecting you,” he said softly, squeezing my hand. “They didn’t trust me, and I can’t blame them for being angry, but they lied to you. I’ve been trying to get back into your life ever since.”
Hand squeeze | Source: Pexels
Tears welled up in my eyes. “Why did you come to my graduation?”
“I heard about it through an old friend,” he explained. “I wanted to see you, to congratulate you. I thought maybe enough time had passed that you’d be ready to meet me.”
I nodded slowly, absorbing his words.
Sarah slowly nods | Source: Midjourney
“We fell on hard times,” he said. “My son, your half-brother, is very sick. I need a lot of money for his treatment, and I thought I could borrow at least $1000 from you.”
I looked at him, torn between anger and pity. “Why didn’t you tell me all of this before?”
“I didn’t want to ruin your big day,” he said with a sad smile. “I wanted to wait until we could talk properly.”
Sarah’s father tells her his side of the story | Source: Midjourney
I sighed, feeling a mixture of emotions. “This is a lot to take in.”
“I know,” he said gently. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
I looked out the window, watching the world go by. “I need to talk to my grandparents. There’s so much I need to sort out.”
Cafe windows | Source: Pexels
“Of course,” he said, reaching across the table to take my hand. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
I squeezed his hand, then stood up. “I need to go. But thank you for being honest with me.”
“Thank you for listening,” he said, his eyes hopeful.
As I walked out of the cafe, I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders. I had a lot to think about and even more to discuss with my grandparents.
Sarah walks out of the cafe | Source: Midjourney
I walked into our house, feeling a heavy weight on my shoulders. The decorations from the graduation party were still up, and the colorful balloons seemed to mock my confusion. My grandparents were sitting at the kitchen table, talking quietly. Their faces lit up when they saw me, but the joy quickly faded when they noticed my expression.
“Sarah, what’s wrong?” Grandma asked, her voice full of concern.
Sarah realizes what she has done | Source: Midjourney
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my trembling hands. “I’m so sorry,” I began, tears welling up in my eyes. “I shouldn’t have made you leave my graduation. I need to know the truth. Please, just tell me everything.”
Grandma’s face softened, and she reached out to take my hand. “Oh, Sarah, we understand. It must have been so confusing for you.”
Grandpa nodded, his eyes sad. “We did what we thought was best to protect you. But you deserve to know the whole story.”
Grandma | Source: Midjourney
I sat down, my heart heavy with guilt and curiosity. “Dad said you kept him away from me. He showed me messages, Grandma. They were from you.”
Grandma sighed deeply, her eyes filled with pain. “Yes, I sent those messages. Your father…he wasn’t a good man, Sarah. He started drinking and using drugs after you were born. He was drunk when he caused the accident that killed your mother. We didn’t want him to hurt you too.”
Sarah’s grandmother tells her the story | Source: Midjourney
I swallowed hard, trying to process their words. “But he said he’s been sober for years. And he said he needed money for his son’s treatment. Is that true?”
Grandma and Grandpa exchanged a worried glance. “He always knew how to manipulate people,” Grandpa said softly. “If he’s back, it’s because he wants something.”
I took a deep breath. “I need to know for sure. Do you think we could find out more about his life now?”
Sarah learns the truth about her father | Source: Midjourney
Grandpa nodded. “We can try. Maybe we can find something online.”
We all moved to the living room, and Grandpa opened his laptop. He logged into Facebook, and we began searching for my father. It didn’t take long to find his profile. His profile picture showed him with a woman and a young boy.
“Is that his new family?” I asked, my heart pounding.
Young family | Source: Pexels
“It looks like it,” Grandpa said, clicking on the woman’s profile. Her name was Lisa, and her profile was public.
We scrolled through her posts, looking for any mention of the boy’s illness. My heart ached as I thought about the possibility of my father lying to me.
“Look at this,” Grandma said, pointing to a post from a few weeks ago. It was a picture of the boy playing soccer, smiling and healthy.
Boy plays soccer | Source: Pexels
“Doesn’t look like he’s sick,” Grandpa muttered, scrolling further. There were more pictures of the boy, all showing him active and happy.
Grandma hugged me tightly. “We’re so sorry you had to go through this, Sarah. But we’re glad you know the truth now.”
I nodded, tears streaming down my face. “I’m so sorry for doubting you. I should have trusted you from the start.”
Grandpa put his arm around me. “We forgive you, Sarah. You were just looking for answers.”
Grandpa hugs Sarah | Source: Midjourney
We sat together, the three of us, finding comfort in each other. I knew I had made mistakes, but I also knew I was loved and forgiven. My grandparents had always been there for me, and now, more than ever, I realized how lucky I was to have them.
The next day, my father came to the house, looking hopeful. “Did you get the money?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No, Dad, I can’t give you any money.”
He frowned. “But it’s for your brother’s treatment.”
Sarah sends her father away | Source: Midjourney
“I know you lied about that,” I said firmly. “I saw the photos. He’s not sick. You just wanted the money.”
His face turned red with anger. “You’re just like your grandparents,” he snapped. “I should’ve stayed away.”
“Maybe you should have,” I replied, my voice steady. “I’m done with your lies.”
Enjoyed this story? Check out this one, where Christine’s grandparents shockingly cut her off from the inheritance. Unbeknownst to them, this is all part of Christine’s plan to bring her family together.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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