Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Sarah Jessica Parker forced to defend herself, public attacks naturally aging beauty and casual style
Carrie Bradshaw once said, “I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes.” But Sarah Jessica parker, the woman behind the sassy fashionista in the hit TV show Sex and the City, isn’t Jimmy Choo-obsessed, nor does she have a wardrobe filled with playful tutus and strappy slip dresses.Still, the confident 58-year-old actor is fielding hateful comments from the online population who can’t understand why her real-life persona is contrary to the modish character she plays.
Parker, who’s proudly aging naturally, gracefully and beautifully, answers back saying it’s, “just not a reality,” and “there’s no time to let vanity enter.” Keep reading to learn what the lovely Sarah Jessica Parker has to say about aging!
In her role as the beloved Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, Sarah Jessica Parker served some iconic, oftentimes controversial, looks.
While her character was considered a trendsetter by women across the globe, Parker in real life, has never been an urban chic fashionista.
“It’s not the way I perceive myself, I’m so low on my priority list,” said Parker, who raised three children while she was at the height of her career. “I love beautiful clothes and am privileged enough to have access to a lot them…but they also are returned the next day. They are not mine.”
Keep reading to learn more…
In real life, the star admits that she prefers a practical style, which isn’t always popular with the demanding public.
Unsexiest woman alive
In fact, in 2008, she was named in a Maxim poll as the “Unsexiest Woman Alive.”
Shortly after she earned the unflattering title, Parker spoke with Grazia (through Daily Mail) and said, “Do I have big fake boobs, Botox and big lips? No. Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men’s magazine? Maybe not.” The star of And Just Like That continues, “Am I really the unsexiest woman in the world? Wow! It’s kind of shocking when men…It’s so brutal in a way…”
Years later, the Family Stone star appeared at the Met Gala wearing a golden Dolce & Gabbana gown that she paired with an ornate nativity headpiece.
Though she was serving an incredibly unique and smashing look, the public only commented on her aging.
“Aye real quick, how old is Sarah Jessica Parker because [her] skin look like tree bark and I’m confused,” said one. A second writes, “Is that Sarah Jessica Parker? Oh gosh she looks so old and worn out.”
Then, in 2021, the Hocus Pocus star was lunching with Bravo star Andy Cohen. Parker was makeup free, her silvery hair tied back in a braided ponytail.
It didn’t take long for the online population to start spitting hate over her appearance. But, Cohen, who also has a head of grey hair, defended his friend.
“We were at lunch and there was a paparazzi, and she’s sitting next to me, white hair,” said Cohen, 55, of his own white hair. Speaking on The Drew Barrymore Show, he continued, “All the articles were ‘Sarah Jessica Parker, she’s going gray’ and ‘She looks old,’ and it was insanity.
Here she is sitting next to me, who’s gray, and people just missed the mark totally. It was so misogynistic.”
Following that, Parker spoke with Vogue and had a lot to say about unforgiving people and their unrealistic standards of beauty.
“There’s so much misogynist chatter… I’m sitting with Andy Cohen, and he has a full head of gray hair, and he’s exquisite. Why is it okay for him?” Parker continues, “‘She has too many wrinkles, she doesn’t have enough wrinkles.’ It almost feels as if people don’t want us to be perfectly okay with where we are, as if they almost enjoy us being pained by who we are today, whether we choose to age naturally and not look perfect, or whether you do something if that makes you feel better.
She adds, “I know what I look like. I have no choice. What am I going to do about it? Stop aging? Disappear?”
Influential woman
The title of “unsexist woman alive” was upstaged in 2022 when the Golden Globe winning actor was named by Time as one of its “100 most influential people in the world.”
Though she may not dress the part of Carrie, who’s the star of the TV series, two films and the reboot And Just Like That, Parker does own her own designer brand, SJP, which – not surprisingly – started as shoes.
The star of Honeymoon in Vegas is also a TV producer, the co-founder of the spirit “The Perfect Cosmo by SJP” (Carrie’s favorite drink), is involved with publishing, fragrances and has a wine label – to name a few.
And just like that
Also unlike Carrie and her hapless search for romance, the star of Footloose found love in the early 1990s with Matthew Broderick, the star of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
The adorable couple – who starred on Broadway together – married on May 19, 1997, and have been together ever since.
When Broderick was asked to reveal his secret for a successful marriage, he answered: “I don’t know the secret at all, but I, you know, I’m very grateful and I love her. It’s amazing. I mean, I can’t believe that it’s been that long. It doesn’t feel like it.”
The couple share three kids, son James Wilkie (born 2002), along with twins Tabitha Hodge and Marion Loretta Elwell, who joined the family in 2009, via surrogate.
The woman leads a busy life and should be applauded for her accomplishments, not criticized.
Speaking natural in real life, the actor said, “It’s not how I think of myself, and I think it’s probably the healthier approach.”
She continues, “It’s just not a reality – not when you have three kids, and you go to the market, and there are hungry people at home. You have a limited time to do it. There’s just no time to let vanity enter into that.”
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