There are many people who get married despite the fact that critics may doubt their ability to stay married for the long term. This often happens when we get married quickly or perhaps we are young and people don’t think we are yet responsible enough for the bond.
In 1995, there was a young couple who also were doubted but they ended up getting married and they stayed married for 25 years. They also were the first couple with Down syndrome in the UK to become husband and wife.
These days, we hear about people who have Down syndrome getting married on a regular basis. At that time, however, it was unheard of and it was the first time in the world that a couple with Down syndrome said I do.
Just like any other disability, however, those with Down syndrome have the ability to beat the odds, and certainly, that is what Tommy and Maryanne Pilling did. In fact, they are an inspiration to many who wonder if they have what it takes.
Maryanne was born in 1971. Her mother, Linda Martin, provided her with a loving atmosphere at home and she also had a sister who loved her as well. There were still times, however, when she struggled in life and she was even rejected by her father.
Since she was raised in a loving household, however, she grew up to be a very loving woman. It was easy to see in her lively personality.
Tommy was born in 1958 and was an only child. When he was 12 years old, he became an orphan and he grew up in a care home in Essex. He did have delayed development because of a lack of a support system, and he didn’t care much for his physical appearance.
When the two of them met in 1990, they were working in a kitchen in a training home for disabled individuals. He was 32 and she was 19 at the time.
It was easy to see how Maryanne felt about Tommy because she would absolutely light up when she spoke about him. They shared a number of common interests, such as music, cooking, movies, and doing craftwork.
Tommy also loved Elvis Pressley and the two of them would dance together on a regular basis. He would also let her know how much he loved her, and eventually, the family got accustomed to having him around.
18 months after they started dating, he proposed to her and asked her mother for permission to marry her daughter. The mother didn’t hesitate, she gave her blessings right away.
Other people, however, were not quite so positive about the idea of the two of them getting married. Some said that she wasn’t ready for it and some even asked about their sex life.
Despite the fact that they were criticized openly, they got married in 1995. 250 people came to the wedding, which was a fairytale for them.
They lived together with her family for seven years before moving into their own apartment next door. Her sister also moved along with them.
They have a very strong bond because he listens carefully when she speaks. There is never any type of hidden agenda and they love each other with their whole hearts.
Unfortunately, Tommy was hospitalized in 2020 after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and then got COVID. Due to his declining health, he passed away. That was on January 1, 2021.
When the news was broken to her, she seemed to understand but still was a little confused about the situation. We are just glad that they had almost 30 years together, and they loved each other till the end.
There’s One Method of Healing Trauma That Prince Harry Uses, and Here’s How to Practice It
Prince Harry recently opened up about his journey with post-traumatic stress disorder following the loss of his mother, Princess Diana. In a candid discussion, he revealed his exploration of a groundbreaking therapy that helped him.
The therapy is called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to address the debilitating effects of his anxiety attacks. This revelation offers a glimpse into the royal’s personal struggles and his proactive approach towards mental health care, shedding light on the significance of seeking innovative treatments of traumas.
In a video, Prince Harry can be seen undergoing EMDR therapy, where he taps his shoulders and moves his eyes rapidly. This therapy is relatively new and is used to treat PTSD. Prince Harry shared that he decided to try EMDR to deal with severe anxiety attacks he was experiencing.
Prince Harry mentioned that he was open to trying EMDR because of the therapy and work he had done over the years.
During a therapy session with UK-based psychotherapist Sanja Oakley, Prince Harry demonstrated how EMDR helped him feel better about returning home. He described feeling scared and helpless before, but the therapy helped him cope with those feelings.
Prince Harry’s openness about his experience with EMDR therapy sheds light on alternative treatments for post-traumatic disorder and mental health struggles. It shows that seeking help and trying different therapies can make a difference in managing mental health conditions.
EMDR is a therapy made in 1987 to help with emotional traumas. It’s a structured therapy where you think about a tough memory while moving your eyes back and forth. This helps lessen the strong feelings tied to the memory.
EMDR works on a theory called Adaptive Information Processing (AIP). It says that trauma sticks around because it hasn’t been dealt with properly. So, when something reminds you of the trauma, those memories can come back strongly.
Unlike other therapies that try to lessen your reaction to trauma, EMDR tries to change how your brain stores those tough memories. Sometimes, instead of eye movements, you might listen to alternating tones. Usually, EMDR happens once or twice a week for about six to 12 sessions. But it can vary depending on the person.
Benefits of EMDR therapy
- EMDR is a structured therapy and usually needs fewer sessions than ongoing therapies.
- You don’t have to keep going back to the tough memory for a long time.
- You don’t have to talk a lot about what happened to you.
- There’s no homework to do.
- EMDR doesn’t try to change your thoughts and beliefs.
Disadvantages of EMDR therapy
- While EMDR is known to help with PTSD, it hasn’t been studied as much for other mood or mental health problems.
- If you’re avoiding talking about a tough event, EMDR might not be the best choice. Other types of talk therapy might work better.
- EMDR can sometimes make you feel worse at the start of treatment. The person who created EMDR warns that this could be dangerous for people who have gone through really tough things.
The process of EMDR
EMDR is a structured process with eight phases, each aimed at helping you deal with traumatic memories:
- History taking: Discuss your past with the therapist to identify which memories to focus on.
- Preparation: Learn about EMDR and how the therapist will use bilateral stimulation.
- Assessment: Identify your negative and positive beliefs related to the trauma.
- Desensitization: Use bilateral stimulation while recalling the memory.
- Installation: Focus on positive beliefs while processing the memory.
- Body scan: Talk about how you feel emotionally and physically.
- Closure: Prepare for what may happen between sessions.
- Reevaluation: Assess your progress and decide if more sessions are needed.
As you go through EMDR, you may start feeling less overwhelmed by the trauma. It’s normal for other painful memories to surface, indicating that suppressed memories are being processed.
When grappling with deep emotional traumas, it’s crucial to seek out specialists who can provide the appropriate form of treatment tailored to your needs. Whether it’s EMDR therapy or other therapeutic approaches, finding the right professional can make a significant difference in your healing journey.
Preview photo credit Good Morning America / YouTube
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